重要的事情说三遍 本字幕是机器翻译 本字幕是机器翻译 本字幕是机器翻译
有人曾经说过，“我们不会因为我们变老而停止游戏。 Someone once said, "We don't stop playing because we grow old.
“我们变老，因为我们停止了比赛。” "We grow old because we stop playing."
当你还是个孩子的时候，你无法想象还有其他一群朋友。 When you're a kid, you can't imagine having any other group of friends.
你以为你会永远成为好朋友。 You think you're gonna be buddies forever.
当然，对大多数人来说，这是不会发生的。 Of course, for most people, that just doesn't happen.
但我的朋友和我，我们想出了解决方法。 But my friends and I, we figured out a way around that.
我们从未停止过比赛。 We just never stopped playing.
我喜欢这么简单，玩游戏， And I like to think that simple thing, playing a game,
是什么让我成为今天的男人。 is what made me the man I am today.
所以你今天的男人想成为一名看门人。 So the man you are today wants to be a janitor.
是。 Yes.
看，马洛伊医生，我正在看你的简历。 Look, Doctor Malloy, I'm looking at your résumé.
它说你获得了兽医学博士学位 It says you got a PhD in veterinary medicine
而且你现在确实有一个成功的练习。 and that you actually have a successful practice right now.
看，每个人的生活都有一段时间 Look, there comes a time in every man's life
在哪里你只需要评估， where you just gotta take stock,
问问自己什么是真正重要的，你的清单上有什么。 ask yourself what's really important, what's on your bucket list.
所以让我直截了当。 So let me get this straight.
在您的清单上，您没有，比如跳伞或攀岩， On your bucket list, you don't have, like, skydiving or rock climbing,
或者踢踏舞，也许吧？ or tap dancing, maybe?
和狼共舞 Dancing with wolves,
我相信这必须是一件事。 I believe that has to be a thing.
如果不是，他们就不会拍电影，你知道吗？ They wouldn't have made a movie if it wasn't, you know?
我所知道的是，对我而言，我真正想要的是什么 All I know is that, for me, what I really want
是清理那个男人的马桶座上的尿液。 is to clean the urine off of that man's toilet seat.
谈论老板。 Talking about the boss.
卡拉汉先生。 Mr. Callahan.
是的，他是一个伟大的人。这是一家伟大的公司。 Yeah, he's a great man. This is a great company.
我可以做些什么来接近那个人，请注册我。 Anything I can do to get closer to that guy, sign me up.
好的，看，伙计。 Okay, look, man.
老实说，任何其他情况， Honestly, any other situation,
我会告诉你把他妈的弄出我的办公室，好吗？ I would just tell you to get the fuck out my office, okay?
但我们确实需要帮助，所以你什么时候开始？ But we do need the help, so when can you start?
我已经开始了。 I've already begun.
他妈的是什么？ What the fuck was that?
呃...... - 我还没打开那个。 Uh... - I haven't even opened that yet.
呃，对不起。我试图积极主动。 Uh, I'm sorry. I was trying to be proactive.
今天。我可以从今天开始。嗯... Today. I can start today. Um...
为什么我不给你另一个可乐？ Why don't I get you another Coke?
你做到了，我们很好。 - 好的。 You do that, we good. - Okay.
但是不要扔掉新东西。 But don't throw away no more new stuff.
你不会失望的。 You will not be disappointed.
我们没有握手，伙计。 We don't have to shake hands, man.
好的。我马上回来。 - 当然。 Okay. I'll be right back. - Sure.
白种人。 White people.
好吧，鲍勃。您是财富800强公司的首席执行官。 All right, Bob. You're the CEO of a Fortune 800 company.
你已经得到了同事和供应商的尊重， You have commanded the respect of coworkers and vendors alike,
这就是为什么你被大男孩采访的原因。 and that is why you're being interviewed by the big boys.
华尔街日报。 The Wall Street Journal.
克罗斯比小姐。 - 哦你好。 Miss Crosby. - Oh. Hi.
你好。鲍勃卡拉汉。 - 丽贝卡 Hi. Bob Callahan. - Rebecca.
非常感谢您抽出宝贵时间。 Thank you so much for taking the time.
好的，谢谢。 On, thank you.
我们应该直接进入吗？ Should we just get right into it?
是的，让我们跳进来。 - 好吧。 Yeah, let's jump right in. - All right.
好吧，这就是我希望读者了解我们公司的信息。 Well, here's what I would love for your readers to know about our company.
我们还年轻。 We are young.
我们充满活力。我们很有趣。 We are dynamic. We are fun.
呃，让我们来谈谈糖尿病。 Uh, so let's talk about diabetes.
卡拉汉先生，您如何回应这个想法 Mr. Callahan, how do you respond to the idea
您的行业使用专属保险 that your industry uses captive insurance
将风险从资产负债表中移除？ to move risk off balance sheets?
好吧，好问题。艰难，但公平。 Well, great question. Tough, but fair.
嗯，我想我会说我喜欢自由大西洋 Um, I guess I would say that what I love about Freedom Atlantic
是我们不像其他保险公司。 is that we're not like other insurance companies.
呃，我们很大，但很小。 Uh, we're big, but small.
呃......小。 Uh... Small.
我们是，嗯...... We are, um...
你知道，我们很复杂...... You know, we're complex...
......但是，也很简单。 ...and yet, also simple.
我们是全球性的...... And we are global...
当地人。 Yet local.
这是完全正确的。 That's exactly right.
对不起，一秒钟。 Sorry, one second.
呃，嘿，你可以在另一个时间回来吗？ Uh, hey, could you maybe come back at another time?
我们恰到好处。先生？ We're just right in the middle of something. Sir?
我不敢，鲍勃。 I'm afraid not, Bob.
耶稣基督，Hoagie！ Jesus Christ, Hoagie!
你在这里做什么？ What are you doing here?
你是如何得到安全的？ How did you get past security?
我没有。我在这儿上班。 I didn't. I work here.
你在我公司找到了一份工作，所以你可以试着给我贴上标签吗？ You got a job at my company, so you could try to tag me?
来吧。鲍勃，结束了。 Come on. Bob, it's over.
你觉得我不能逃离自己的会议室吗？ You don't think I can escape from my own conference room?
你要去哪儿？ Where are you gonna go?
好吧，猜猜怎么着？现在注意，因为这种情况正在发生。 Well, guess what? Watch now 'cause this is happening.
上帝吧！ - 好的。 God dang it! - Okay.
哦......哎哟。 - 你还好吗？ Oh... Ouch. - You okay?
神。好的。 God. Okay.
你是对的。 You're right.
结束了。 It's over.
嗯，你是它。 - 是的，我知道。好吧。 Well, you're it. - Yeah, I know. All right.
真高兴能见到你。伙计，很高兴见到你。 It's good to see you. Good to see you, pal.
很高兴见到你。 - 你减肥了吗？ Good to see you. - Have you lost weight?
是的，一点点。嘿，听着，这很严重。嗯... Yeah, a little bit. Hey, listen, this is serious. Um...
杰瑞放弃了。 Jerry's quitting.
什么？废话。 What? Bullshit.
我向上帝发誓。本赛季结束，他即将退休。 I swear to God. End of this season, he's retiring.
哦，那好吧。但是，呃，在面试中间。我也可以...... Well, okay. But, uh, lam in the middle of an interview. So can I...
华尔街日报，真是太酷了！ - 哦谢谢。 Wall Street Journal, that's so cool! - Oh, thank you.
不，谢谢，顺便说一下， No, thank you, by the way,
因为这是我需要的分心。 'cause this was the distraction I needed.
你让Bob谈论自己...... You get Bob talking about himself...
它只是一个反馈循环。马不停蹄。 It is just a feedback loop. Non-stop.
我们可以在外面谈谈这个吗？ - 是的 Can we talk about this outside, please? - Yeah.
我们可以在外面谈论这个吗？我马上回来。我承诺。 Can we talk about this outside? I'll be right back. I promise.
五月还剩三天了。 There's three days left in May.
这给了我们63个小时来围捕这些家伙并得到他。 That gives us 63 hours to round up the guys and get him.
大。我们可以在晚餐时谈论这个。 Great. We can talk about this over dinner.
什么？不不不。我们得走了！ What? No, no, no. We have to go now!
你有浴室要清洁还是什么？ Don't you have bathrooms to clean or something?
从技术上讲，是的，我做到了。 Technically, yes, I do.
好吧，你知道吗？ All right, well, you know what?
把这个荒谬的东西拿走...... - 喔。 Take this ridiculous thing off... - Ow.
......去吧。我们稍后会谈到这个。 ...and get to it. We'll talk about this later.
鲍勃，我会辞职的。 I'll resign, Bob.
你不必。你被开除了。 You don't have to. You're fired.
哦，好的。因为这里的好处很糟糕！ Oh, good. 'Cause the benefits here suck!
不，他们没有。 No, they don't.
那是真实的。好处真的很好。 That's true. Benefits are really good.
哦，嘿，抱歉。呃，我们在哪儿？ Oh, hey, sorry about that. Uh, where were we?
呃，糖尿病。是。 - 解释一下。 Uh, diabetes. Yes. - Explain.
好吧，呃......我不是医生，但有两种类型。 Well, uh... I'm not a doctor, but there are two types.
类型1称为“类型一”。而第二类更多是成年人的发病。 Type one is called "Type One". And Type Two is more of an adult onset.
不，他。 No. Him.
你在做什么？ - Hoagie，你想要什么？ What are you doing? - Hoagie, what do you want?
你给我贴了标签。我是，好吗？ You tagged me. I'm it, okay?
你坐在那里就像我不只是告诉你 You're sitting there like I didn't just tell you
我们现在要处理这个问题。 we gotta deal with this right now.
因为今年我们在杰瑞身上得到了真正的机会。 Because we got a real shot at Jerry this year.
你说每年都这样。 You say that every year.
是的，但今年不同了。 - 你说每年。 Yeah, but this year's different. - You say that every year.
但今年真的与众不同。 - 你说去年了。 But this year's really different. - You said that last year.
我知道，你是对的。 I know, you're right.
但今年实际上是不同的 But this year's actually different
因为我们确切地知道他将在何时何地。 because we know exactly where he's going to be and when.
“苏珊和杰瑞的婚礼庆典。 "The wedding celebration of Susan and Jerry.
“5月31日星期六。” "Saturday, May 31st."
他是一只坐着的鸭子！ He's a sitting duck!
我们必须联合起来。我们现在得到杰瑞， We gotta join forces. We get Jerry now,
或者我们死了 or we die.
什么？ - 最终。你知道我的意思。 What? - Eventually. You know what I mean.
来吧，鲍勃。 Come on, Bob.
你会变老，还是会继续玩？ You gonna grow old, or you gonna keep playing?
继续玩。 Keep playing.
这是正确的答案。很高兴见到你。 That is the right answer. Nice to meet you.
呃...... - 对不起我得走了。 Uh... - I'm sorry. I have to go.
不，呃...... No. Uh...
等一下。等一下。 Hold on. Hold on.
我不敢相信他要结婚了，他甚至没有告诉我们。 I can't believe he's getting married, and he didn't even tell us.
我知道。我起初也很生气，然后受伤了。 I know. I was mad at first, too, and then hurt.
但是，你知道，他只是意识到他会成为一个坐着的目标。 But, you know, he just realized he'd be a sitting target.
即使对他来说，这也是疯狂的。 That's insane, even for him.
你们其中一个请告诉我这里发生了什么事吗？ Will one of you please tell me what's going on here?
我们没有记录吗？ Are we off the record?
不，绝对不是。 No, definitely not.
真棒。好的。 Awesome. Okay.
我们这群朋友已经玩了30年的同一游戏。 Our group of friends has been playing the same game of tag for 30 years.
什么？ What?
对于整个五月，每年，我们都会玩标签。 For the entire month of May, every year, we play tag.
就像我们小时候一样。 Just like when we were kids.
但我们不是在操场上，我们都住在不同的城市。 But we're not on a playground, and we all live in different cities.
所以你永远不知道什么时候会有人弹出来。 So you don't ever know when someone's gonna pop up.
你可以在商场购物， You could be shopping at the mall,
然后你的伙伴跳出了行李箱 and then your buddy jumps out of the trunk
而且，繁荣，标记你。你是它。 and, boom, tags you. You're it.
这是最疯狂的部分。 Here's the craziest part.
我们的伙伴Jerry从未被贴上标签。 Our buddy, Jerry, never been tagged.
你是什么意思他从未被标记过？你从来没有把手放在他的身上？ What do you mean he's never been tagged? You never put your hand on his body?
不是在五月份。好像，30年。 Not during the month of May. For like, 30 years.
你为什么不去他的房子并给他贴上标签？ Why don't you just go over to his house and tag him?
这并不容易。 - 为什么不？ It's not that easy. - Why not?
因为... Because...
嗯，对于初学者来说，因为他的速度非常快。 Well, for starters, because he's so freaking fast.
你无法抓住他。 You just can't catch him.
是的，如果你确实抓住了他， Yeah, and if you do manage to catch him,
然后他去野外，变成某种疯狂的野生动物。 then he goes feral and turns into some kind of crazy wild animal.
如果你设法捕获野生动物， And if you manage to trap the wild animal,
他仍然找到了办法。 he still finds a way.
刚刚发生了什么？ What just happened there?
直到今天，我都不知道。不知道。 To this day, I have no idea. No idea.
他是有史以来最好的。是啊。 He's the best that ever played. Yeah.
现在，他希望以完美的记录退役， And now, he wants to retire with a perfect record,
让我们看起来像个傻瓜。上当了！ make us all look like fools. Fools!
他非常兴奋。 He gets very excited.
他在那。 There he is.
等待。你不是要离开。 Wait. You're not leaving.
看，克罗斯比女士，我道歉。 Look, Ms. Crosby, I apologize.
呃，我的办公室里有人会联系你。 Uh, I will have someone from my office reach out to you.
我一回到城里就会重新安排这个。 We will reschedule this as soon as I'm back in town.
呃，不。 Uh, nope.
不？ - 没有。计划的变更。 Nope? - No. Change of plan.
我和你一起去。 I'm coming with you.
这是一个故事。 This is a story.
什么？没有。 What? No.
是。这是有史以来最酷的比赛。 Yes. This is the coolest game ever.
我认为这不是她的角度。 I don't think that's gonna be her angle.
我不知道我的角度是什么， I don't know what my angle is,
但我觉得我们生活在这个世界里非常有趣 but I do find it very interesting that we live in a world
成年男子整整一个月 where grown men take an entire month
每年出去玩一个孩子的游戏。 out of every year to play a child's game.
这很有趣。你是对的。我们走吧。 It's very interesting. You're right. Let's go.
我不认为她的意思很好。 I don't think she means interesting in a good way.
进来，鲍勃。 - 好！操它，我要去。 Get in, Bob. - Fine! Fuck it, I'm going.
爸爸，好的，它已经为你准备好了。 All right, it's all ready for you, Dad.
嘿!谢谢。谢谢。 Hey! Thank you. Thank you.
我会诚实地对你说。自从我的妻子去世以来 I'll be honest with you. Ever since my wife died,
你真的是让我失望的摇滚乐。 you've really been the rock holding me down.
所以谢谢。 So thank you.
好吧，我很欣赏。我真的这样做。 Well, I appreciate that. I really do.
但你的妻子并没有死。 But your wife is not dead.
好吧，她死了我。 Well, she's dead to me.
什么？ What?
是啊。 Yeah.
那是对的。 - 那是对的。 That's right. - That's right.
听我说。 Listen to me.
“生活在过去就是死在现在。” "To live in the past is to die in the present."
现在，谁说的？ Now, who said that?
你做到了。 - 比尔贝利奇克说！ You did. - Bill Belichick said that!
上帝爱他。是的先生。 God love him. Yes, sir.
好吧，我会给我们更多的杂草。 All right, I'm gonna get us more weed.
儿子，上帝保佑你。 God bless you, son.
该死的，那很快！ Damn, that was fast!
嘿! - 嘿，安娜。 Hey! - Hey, Anna.
嘿，辣椒。你好吗？ - 很高兴，很高兴见到你。 Hey, Chilli. How are you? - Good, nice to see you.
你在这里做什么？ What are you doing here?
我......我正走着 I was... I was walking by
我以为我会和你和罗杰打个招呼。 and thought I'd pop in and say hi to you and Roger.
是的，我们做得很好。 Hoagie在哪里？ Yeah, we're doing great. Where's Hoagie?
哦，嗯......他是，嗯......你知道...... Oh, um... He's, um... You know...
妈的！ - 霍根在，呃，图书馆。 Oh, shit! - Hogan's in, uh, the library.
是爸爸，这个月是几月？ Is it... Dad, what month is it?
可能。 May.
嗯，嗯。你没有得到我。 Mmm-mmm. You're not getting by me.
安娜，你没事吧？ Anna, are you okay?
他很松散！他很松散！ He's loose! He's loose!
操它。 Fuck it.
霍根，亲爱的，他来了。 Hogan, honey, he's coming.
他正走向东楼梯间。 He's heading down the east stairwell.
嘿。霍根！ - 嘿，辣椒！ Hey. Hogan! - Hey, Chilli!
男人，我有一段时间没见到你了。最近怎么样？ I haven't seen you in a while, man. How's everything?
非常好。是的，你呢？ - 好，是的 Pretty good. Yeah, what about you? - Good, yeah.
一切都很好，伙计。是的，工作。我的意思是，我正在经历那场离婚。 Everything's good, man. Yeah, work. I mean, I'm going through that divorce.
你确定？ - 但是，一切都很好。没事。 You sure? - But, everything's fine. It's fine.
嘿，也是，旁注。男人，别把你的妻子带进去。 Hey, also, side note. Stop bringing your wife into this, man.
那就是胡说八道。她对比赛太激烈了。 That's bullshit. She's way too intense for the game.
你只是嫉妒，因为她是个坏蛋。 You're just jealous 'cause she's such a badass.
她是我的秘密武器。因为你被困所以有所工作。 She's my secret weapon. Kind of worked 'cause you're trapped.
我被困了吗？ - 是的 Am I trapped? - Yeah.
我是？ I am?
该死的，辣椒！ Damn you, Chilli!
耶稣，辣椒！ Jesus, Chilli!
那是垃圾！ That's trash!
操我！ Fuck me!
哦，嘿，马丁！ Oh, hey, Martin!
哦。你好。抱歉。 Oh. Hi. Sorry.
对不起，马丁太太。来了。 Excuse me, Mrs. Martin. Coming through.
对不起，抱歉，抱歉， Sorry, sorry, sorry,
哇，哇，哇。 Whoa, whoa, whoa.
哦，我的上帝！我很抱歉。非常抱歉。哇。好的。 Oh, my God! I'm so sorry. So sorry. Wow. Okay.
得到他，安迪！ Get him, Andy!
好，安迪，好！ Good, Andy, good!
Ho，ho，ho，ho。 Ho, ho, ho, ho.
辣椒，辣椒，辣椒...... Chilli, Chilli, Chilli...
辣椒！不不不！ Chilli! No, no, no!
哦，他妈的！ Oh, fuck!
你好吗，哥们？ You okay, buddy?
哦，太好了。大。 Oh, just great. Great.
你今天没有得到我，伙计。我没有输。 You ain't getting me today, man. I'm not losing.
辣椒只有一个问题。 There's only one problem, Chilli.
哦耶？那是什么？ Oh, yeah? What's that?
我不是。 I'm not it.
他妈的你的意思是，你不是吗？ The fuck you mean, you're not it?
我是，妈妈！ I am, motherfucker!
哦! Oh!
它！来吧。起床。 - 该死的！ It! Come on. Get up. - Goddamn!
你没事吧？ - 是的，我没事。 You all right? - Yeah, I'm fine.
你在那里受到了很大的打击。天哪。 You took a pretty big hit there. My God.
是的，我以为我逃走了。 Yeah, I thought I got away.
把他安排好打倒了他。 - 哦，我的上帝！ Set him up. Knock him down. - Oh, my God!
好主意。 - 好吧，公平和正方形。 Good idea. - All right, fair and square.
我是，对吧？ - 是的 I'm it, right? - Yes.
而现在你就是它。 And now you're it.
哇。不。 - 是的 Whoa. Nope. - Yeah.
不。我不接受它。 Nope. I'm not taking it.
不我不是。没有！ No, I'm not. No!
没有 - 我们不是......不！ No. - We're not... No!
伙计们，我们太老了...... Guys, we're too old for...
不，不要开始打。神。 No, don't start hitting. God.
不，不，你是它。我不知道是谁。 No, no, you're it. I don't know who is it.
你是它。你是它。 - 伙计们，伙计们！ You're it. You're it. - Guys, guys!
这是荒唐的。 - 王八蛋！你揍了我一拳！ This is ridiculous. - Son of a bitch! You sack punched me!
好吧，你打了我一拳！ - 你揍了他一拳？ Well, you punched me! - You sack punched him?
是的，你疯了，现在你就是它。 Yeah, you went crazy, and now you're it.
抱歉。 - 好的，我是它。 Sorry. - Okay, I'm it.
休战，休战，休战。 Truce, truce, truce.
应对。 Deal.
无论如何，这不是关于我们的。 This isn't about us anyway.
这是我们得到杰里的那一年。 This is the year we get Jerry.
哦，我们不会得到杰瑞。 - 他说了同样的话。 Oh, we're not gonna get Jerry. - He said the same thing.
不，不。我说了同样的话。我们有个计划，好吗？ No, no. I said the same thing. We got a plan, all right?
伙计们！伙计们，我们走吧。 Guys! Guys, let's go.
她是如此激烈，男人。她太过分了。 She's so intense, man. She takes it too far.
你知道吗？如果它不适合我，你们会白天喝醉， You know what? If it wasn't for me, you guys would be day drunk,
与12岁的孩子一起打迷你高尔夫球。 playing mini-golf with 12-year-olds.
我们走吧。我知道Sable在哪里。上车，女士们。 Let's go. I know where Sable is. Get in the car, ladies.
是的，我们要去机场，所以抓起一个包，抓住一个...... Yeah, we're going right to the airport, so grab a bag, grab a...
牙刷或其他什么。 - 我很好。我们走吧。 A toothbrush or whatever. - I'm good. Let's go.
真？ - 哇！ Really? - Wow!
这很糟糕。 - 嗯，他很高兴。那很好。 That's gross. - Well, he's gung-ho. That's good.
嘿，丽贝卡，我们现在要去买黑貂。 Hey, Rebecca, we're gonna go get Sable now.
谁是黑貂？ Who is Sable?
我知道你认为她不是在欺骗我。 I know you think she's not cheating on me.
但是可能性如何呢？ But what about the possibility
她知道我跟着她去普拉提课， of her knowing that I'm following her to Pilates class,
而且在没有普拉提课的日子里， and on the days when it's not Pilates class,
那是她有空闲时间骑自行车的时候。 that's when she has all the free time to ride random dick.
好的，骑着迪克斯。 Okay, riding dicks.
凯文，你真的专注于其他迪克斯。 Kevin, you're really focused on other dicks.
但是你的呢？你呢？ But what about yours? What about you?
如果你不专注于其他迪克斯， If you don't focus on the other dicks,
那些侦探会堵塞你想去的地方。 those dicks will plug up the places you wanna go.
精神上进入每个漏洞怎么样？ What about mentally going into each of those holes
然后拔掉每一个傻瓜。拔出，拔出，拔出。 and unplugging every one of those dicks. Pulling out, pulling out, pulling out.
然后你有一个清醒的头脑。 Dickless。 And then you have a clear mind. Dickless.
好吧，我偏执是我最初的偏执狂 Well, I'm paranoid that my original paranoia
可能会打开我的偏执狂。 might turn on my paranoia.
听起来有一些基本的信任问题。 It sounds like there are some fundamental trust issues.
你不能相信任何人。 You can't trust anybody.
我认为没有人能帮助你。 I don't think anyone's out to get you.
我认为没有人跟踪你。 I don't think anyone is following you.
噢！停止！ Ow! Stop!
我不能再忍受了。 I can't take it anymore.
我不能接受。我不能听这个。 I can't take it. I can't listen to this.
你在嘘我？ Are you shushing me?
他妈的是什么？ What the fuck?
哦，哇！ - 你好吗？ Oh, wow! - How are you?
医生！ - 你在那里。 Doctor! - You're there.
嗨，霍根。很高兴见到你。 Hi, Hogan. Nice to meet you.
鲍勃卡拉汉。你好吗？ Bob Callahan. How do you do?
对不起，这是一个糟糕的主意。 - 你是谁？ Sorry, this is a terrible idea. - Who are you?
我们是Sable的朋友。 We're friends of Sable's.
我们认为隐藏在那里真的很有趣， We thought it'd be really funny to hide in there,
但后来我们听得太多了。 but then we overheard way too much.
是的，哥们，你显然经历了很多糟糕的事情。 Yeah, buddy, you're clearly going through a lot of shit.
好的，到这里，伙计。 All right, get here, man.
而且，嗯，你也是，所以...... And, um, also, you're it, so...
我不在乎。我想你。伙计，你最近怎么样？很高兴见到你。 I don't care. I miss you. How are you, buddy? Good to see you.
我很好。 - 对。 I'm good. - Yup.
现在你就是它。 - 我知道。我知道。我是它。 Now you're it. - I know. I know. I'm it.
无论如何，是的，我们来找你，所以来吧。 Anyway, yeah, we came to get you, so come on.
黑貂。来吧。 - 来吧。 Sable. Come on. - Come on.
我还剩40分钟。 I got 40 minutes left in the session.
所以呢？这个很重要。 - 是的 So what? This is important. - Yeah.
打包行李。我们在回家路上。 Pack your bags. We're going home.
我这里没有行李。 I don't have my bags here.
是的，我们知道。 - 显然。 Yeah, we know. - Obviously.
为了他妈的缘故。 - 我知道。它只是...... For fuck's sake. - I know that. It's just...
我们将到你家去买你的东西。 We will go by your house and get your stuff.
你应该首先去我家 You should've just went to my house in the first place
如果我们要去我家。 if we were gonna go to my house anyway.
这似乎是一个更好的主意。 - 这是一点点！我们走吧。 This seemed like a better idea. - It was a whole bit! Let's go.
是的，来吧，我们会弄清楚的。 Yeah, come on, we'll figure it out.
好的，你还欠我这个时辰。 Okay, you'll still owe me for this hour.
谢谢，博士。 Thanks, Doctor.
你们不认真对待我的心理健康。 You guys aren't taking my mental health seriously.
看看那些小混蛋。 Look at those little assholes.
冷静。 - 回来太可怕了。 Calm down. - It's awful to be back.
这会很有趣。 It's gonna be fun.
啊!它仍然闻起来一样。 Ah! It Still smells the same.
呃......我们走了。 Uh... Here we go.
好吧！ All right!
“呃！ "Uh!
好的，是的 Okay, yeah.
哦，是的，它仍在那里。 Oh, yeah, it's still there.
伙计们，我们回到了战争室。 Guys, we're back in the war room.
你知道这意味着什么。 You know what that means.
不，我不知道这意味着什么。 No, I don't know what that means.
这意味着我们要开战，黑貂。现在，为了清楚， It means we're going to war, Sable. Now, just to be clear,
我们不会在实际的婚礼上标记杰瑞 we're not gonna tag Jerry at the actual wedding ceremony
坦率地说，这会让我们成为巨大的混蛋。 because, frankly, that would make us giant assholes.
对不起。我认为这就是重点。 I'm sorry. I thought that was the whole point of this.
出于这个原因，我花了两周的无薪假期。 I took two weeks unpaid vacation for that exact reason.
两个星期？ - 是的 Two weeks? - Yeah.
在此之后我会拉链。 I'm going zip-lining after this.
好的。在仪式开始前有足够的时间让他来。 Okay. There's gonna be plenty of time to get him before the ceremony.
这是排练晚餐。 There's a rehearsal dinner.
有一个午餐，拍摄照片。别担心。我们要去找他。 There's a luncheon, photo shoot. Just don't worry. We're gonna get him.
非常官方的计划。谁想和我一起抽一些杂草？黑貂！ Very official plan. Who wants to smoke some weed with me? Sable!
我会采取行动。 I'll take a toke.
什么？ What?
是的，我一直都是，呃，你知道，最近在试验锅。 Yeah, I've been, uh, you know, experimenting with pot recently.
大多是药用，但嘿。 Mostly medicinal, but hey.
霍根，我一直想和你一起高兴。 I've wanted to get high with you my entire life, Hogan.
老实说。 - 我们开始做吧。 Honestly. - Let's do it.
这是有史以来最好的礼物。 - 好的。 This is the best gift of all time. - Okay.
顺便说一句，这正是我想象的那样。 This is exactly how I imagined it, by the way.
Hoagie的早晨。 Hoagie's morn.
我为披萨卷男孩准备了比萨饼卷。 I've got pizza rolls for my pizza roll boys.
哦。披萨卷。 Ooh. Pizza rolls.
那是我闻到的大麻吗？ Is that marijuana I smell?
不，什么？ No. What?
这是我的锅。真的对不起。我在抽烟。这是一个古老的习惯。 It's my pot. I'm really sorry. I was smoking pot. It's an old habit.
哦，这是你的weedie。 Oh, so it's your weedie.
我想我的联系很高。 I think I'm getting a contact high.
好的。 Okay.
深深打击我。你知道，腰带以下。 Hits me deep. Below the belt, you know.
楼上有个腰带。 I've got a belt upstairs.
我在顽皮的小男孩身上使用它。 I use it on naughty little boys.
他妈的发生了什么事？ What the fuck is going on?
我希望你不伤害那些男孩。 I hope you don't hurt those boys.
我不是故意的。 I don't mean to.
和你说话真的很棒。谢谢披萨卷。 It was really nice speaking with you. Thank you for the pizza rolls.
妈妈，别再和辣椒调情了。 Mom, stop flirting with Chilli.
琳达，你最近见过杰瑞吗？ Linda, have you seen Jerry lately?
我的意思是，你还和他妈妈一起打网球吗？ I mean, do you still play tennis with his mom?
因为我们需要在婚礼前找到他， Because we need to find him before the wedding,
我们没有任何线索。 and we've got no clues.
我甚至不跟她说话。我从未在俱乐部见过她。 I don't even talk to her. I never see her at the club.
但我为杰瑞感到激动。苏珊真是个好女孩。 But I'm thrilled for Jerry. Susan is such a nice girl.
我们只需要这些信息。 - 是的，我们需要找到他。是啊。 We just need the information. - Yeah, we need to find him. Yeah.
你把这些人带到鹬？ Have you taken the guys over to the Sandpiper?
娄只是谈论你和过去和杰瑞。 Lou does nothing but talk about you and the old days and Jerry.
你知道，我觉得他很孤单。 You know, I think he's lonely.
好的，这没有用。但它... Okay, that's not helpful. But it...
哦，我的上帝！ Oh, my God!
娄知道这个镇上发生的一切。 Lou knows everything going on in this town.
伙计们，我们要去矶鹬。 Guys, we're going to the Sandpiper.
我不想去矶鹬。我在这里度过了愉快的时光。 I don't wanna go to the Sandpiper. I'm having a great time here.
我想念这个地下室。我们没有啤酒了。 I miss this basement. We don't have any more beer.
我们去鹬鹬吧。 Let's go to the Sandpiper.
楼主！ Lou!
先生们！和女士们。 Gentlemen! And ladies.
你好吗？嘿，我们在选秀上有新的夏季比赛。 How are you guys? Hey, we have new summer stouts on draft.
娄，我们不会对夏季烈性酒大肆宣传。我们只是在寻找杰瑞。 Lou, we don't give a shit about summer stouts. We're just looking for Jerry.
哦，我不想成为坏消息的承担者，安娜， Ooh, I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, Anna,
但你在技术上仍然被禁止在这里。 but you are technically still banned from here.
什么？仍然？ - 什么？ What? Still? - What?
这是美元玛格丽塔之夜，娄。 It was dollar margarita night, Lou.
嘿，我没有制定规则。 Hey, I don't make the rules.
操你，娄。 Fuck you, Lou.
你对杰瑞有所了解。我可以在你眼中看到它，你老鼠他妈的。 You know something about Jerry. I can see it in your eyes, you rat fuck.
我不知道杰瑞在哪里。 I don't know where Jerry is.
操你。告诉我们。 Fuck you. Tell us.
对不起，娄。我很抱歉。 I'm sorry, Lou. I'm so sorry.
你好吗？你的早晨怎么样？ How are you? How's your morn?
太棒了。 - 哦，那很好。 Fantastic. - Oh, that's good.
身体很好。 - 告诉她我说你好。 Fit as a fiddle. - Tell her I said hi.
我肯定会的。她会喜欢听到这个。 I will, for sure. She'll love hearing that.
操你妈的无论如何，我不想在这个酒吧。 And fuck you. I don't wanna be in this bar anyway.
好吧好吧。 - 我们要在外面等 Okay, okay. - We're gonna wait outside.
期待赶上你们所有人。喔！ Look forward to catching up with y'all. Whoo!
听着，我会告诉你关于杰瑞你需要知道的一切 Listen, I'll tell you everything you need to know about Jerry
如果你给我标记一次。这就是我所要求的。我会泄漏。 if you tag me just one time. It is all I ask. I will spill.
为什么我不能标记你？ Why can't I tag you?
因为我不是正式参与游戏。 Because I'm not officially in the game.
娄，这个好词是什么？ What's the good word, Lou?
我们不会因为我们变老而停止玩耍。 We don't stop playing 'cause we grow old.
我们变老了因为我们停止了比赛。 We grow old because we stop playing.
你不是这个游戏的一部分。 You are not part of this game.
本杰明·富兰克林。 Benjamin Franklin.
娄。 - 是吗？ Lou. - Yeah?
杰瑞在哪里？ Where's Jerry?
男孩，我恐怕无法帮助你。 I'm afraid I can't help you out with that, boys.
真？ - 是的，你看， Really? - Yeah, you see,
杰里和我达成了一些协议。 Jerry and I struck a little deal.
我对他的下落一无所知，然后明年我会打标签。 I say nothing about his whereabouts, and then I get to play tag next year.
杰瑞跟你做了什么交易？ - 哦耶。 Jerry made that deal with you? - Oh, yeah.
男孩，我是牢不可破的。 And I am unbreakable, boys.
无法穿透这个铁幕。 Cannot penetrate this Iron Curtain.
保险库已关闭。 The vault is closed.
好吧，娄，这真是一种耻辱，因为我要把你介绍给丽贝卡， Well, Lou, that is a real shame because I was gonna introduce you to Rebecca,
谁正在写一篇关于华尔街日报标签的文章。 who is writing an article about tag for The Wall Street Journal.
多么酷啊？ How cool is that?
非常酷。 - 那不是很令人兴奋吗？ So cool. - Isn't that exciting?
娄有没有办法在你的文章中？ Is there any way that Lou could be in your article?
哦耶。 Oh, yeah.
对？这是一个有趣的角度，对吗？ Right? It's an interesting angle, right?
可能必须成为一个故事才会发生，对吗？ Probably has to be a story for that to happen, right?
你是什么意思，必须有一个故事？ What do you mean, there has to be a story?
嗯，我的意思是，没有杰瑞，没有故事。 Well, I mean, no Jerry, no story.
你需要Jerry的故事吗？ You need Jerry for the story?
你能想象这件事打印在这里，框架？ Could you imagine that thing printed out here, framed?
挂在墙上？有这个家伙？ - 是的 Hanging on the wall? With this guy? - Yeah.
哪个将在各地发布。每个人都会看到。 Which will get published everywhere. Everyone will see.
在全国范围内。 - 你不想参加这篇文章吗？ Nationally. - Don't you wanna be in the article?
是啊老兄。我很想成为一篇文章。 Yeah, dude. I would love to be in an article.
好吧，我们不会在这里打破诺克斯堡。 Well, we're not gonna break Fort Knox here.
操，伙计。好吧。 Fuck, man. All right.
我对这个故事感到非常兴奋。 - 很高兴见到你，伙计。 I was really excited about that story. - Good to see you, buddy.
祝你好运，伙计。 - 看，看，看。 Good luck, man. - Look, look, look.
我的妈妈和他的早晨谈过， My mom talked to his morn,
她说排练是在鹿河乡村俱乐部。 and she said that the rehearsal is at the Deer Creek Country Club.
鹿溪。 - 它就在那里。 Deer Creek. - There it is.
无论如何，这个名字是Louis Seibert。那是S-E-I-B...... Anyways, the name is Louis Seibert. That's S-E-I-B...
哦，我会记得的。谢谢。 - 她有一段美好的回忆。 Oh, I'll remember that. Thank you. - She's got a great memory.
大楼，谢谢你，伙计。 Big Lou, thank you, buddy.
谢谢。 - 是的，你打赌。 Thank you. - Yeah, you bet.
哦，你好，罗林斯女士？ Oh, hello, Ms. Rollins?
这是来自鹿溪乡村俱乐部的玛格丽特。 This is Margaret from the Deer Creek Country Club.
我只是打电话通知您，我们将无法退还您的押金 I'm just calling to let you know we won't be able to refund your deposit
因为你在如此短的时间内取消了排练。 since you canceled the rehearsal on such short notice.
这是胡说八道。 - 哦，我的上帝！ This is bullshit. - Oh, my God!
呃，我们没有取消招待会。 Uh, we didn't cancel the reception.
我担心我们现在不幸在那个时段预订了其他东西。 I'm afraid we have unfortunately booked something else in that time slot now.
quinceañera。 - quinceañera。 A quinceañera. - A quinceañera.
这是胡说八道。 - 哦，我的上帝！ This is bullshit. - Oh, my God!
女性的庆祝。 A celebration of womanhood.
这是对女性的一种庆祝。 It's a celebration of womanhood.
这是胡说八道。 - 哦，我的上帝！ This is bullshit. - Oh, my God!
我们现在正来俱乐部。 We're coming to the club right now.
你好？ Hello?
嗨，小子们。 Hello, boys.
是谁呀？ Who is it?
我是。 I am.
卡拉汉从左边靠近。 Callahan approaches from the left.
参与非接触式协议。 Engage no-contact protocol.
没有一只手触碰我的身体。 No hand shall touch my body.
心理记录。鲍勃用手拍了一下Hoagie。现在是Hoagie。 Mental note. Bob slapped Hoagie with his hand. Hoagie is now it.
辣椒。 Chilli.
他以一种阴谋般的方式潜入我的身边。 He dives at me in a pussy-like fashion.
计划不好。执行不力。 Poor planning. Poor execution.
小菜一碟。 Piece of cake.
我走向逃生的大门。 I head for the door to escape.
黑貂阻止它。 Sable blocks it.
这是showtime。 It's showtime.
Hoagie已经标记了Sable。他现在是公平的比赛。 Hoagie has tagged Sable. He is now fair game.
我快他。 I speedbag him.
杰瑞！你还好吗？ Jerry! You okay?
哦，我从来没有变得更好。 Oh, I've never been better.
欢迎回家，男生！ Welcome home, boys!
嘿，这对你来说是谁？ Hey, who's this with you?
哦，这是丽贝卡。她是一名记者。 Oh, this is Rebecca. She's a reporter.
非常有名。 Very famous.
他们，呃，提到我30年没有被贴上标签了吗？ Did they, uh, mention that I haven't been tagged in 30 years
因为他们在这场比赛中吮吸？ 'cause they suck at this game?
广泛开展。 Extensively.
从未被标记过。只是说。 Never been tagged. Just saying.
我不敢相信你宁愿 I can't believe you would rather
不邀请你最亲密的朋友参加你的婚礼 not invite your closest friends to your wedding
比被标记的风险更大。 than risk getting tagged.
嘿，鲍勃，你看，你在这里，不是吗？对？我知道你会来的。 Hey, Bob, look, you're here, ain't you? Right? I knew you'd come.
Cookie，代客需要钥匙。 Cookie, the valet needs the keys.
嗨宝贝。来吧，亲爱的。过来。 Hi, baby. Come here, honey. Come here.
我们没有邀请你。 We didn't invite you.
是啊。抱歉。 - 呃，伙计们 Yeah. Sorry. - Uh, guys.
这是苏珊，我即将成为新娘。 This is Susan, my soon-to-be-bride.
你好。很高兴认识你，苏珊。 - 嘿 Hi. Nice to meet you, Susan. - Hey.
你好。 - 她会解释原因。 Hi. - She'll explain why.
它只是......我知道这听起来真的很疯狂。 It's just... I know it sounds really crazy.
只是，我母亲身边的每个人都有五月的婚礼， It's just, everyone on my mother's side have had May weddings,
而且我不希望我的婚礼毁了... and I don't want my wedding ruined over...
我发誓，我不想成为那个女人， I swear, I don't wanna be that woman,
但我确实觉得那个女人在这种情况下是可以理解的。 but I do feel like that woman is kind of understandable in this situation.
宝贝，不要找借口。你不必。来吧。 Don't make excuses, baby. You don't have to. Come on.
看，我已经打破了他妈的窗户。伙计们，我们要做什么？ Look, I already broke a fucking window. What are we gonna do here, guys?
修订。 - 修正案。 Amendment. - Amendment.
修订。好吧。来这边。 Amendment. All right. Get in here.
休战。休战，婊子。 Truce. Truce, bitches.
排练时没有标签。午餐时没有标签。 No tag at the rehearsal. No tag at the luncheon.
晚餐没有标签。甚至不要在仪式上提到标签。 No tag at the dinner. And do not even mention tag at the ceremony.
仪式。 Ceremony.
我们得到了它。 - 谢谢。 We got it. - Thank you.
没办法，我不签这个。 No way, I'm not signing this.
你正式被重新邀请。怎么样？ You're officially re-not invited. How's that?
好的，那很好。 Okay, then fine.
我会撞你他妈的婚礼， I'll crash your fucking wedding,
当你试图亲吻你的新娘时，我会给你贴上标签。 and I'll tag you as you try to kiss your bride.
嘿嘿嘿。 Hey, hey, hey.
看，苏珊。你好像很可爱 Look, Susan. You seem like a lovely person,
我相信这一切都会好起来的。 and I'm sure this will all be fine.
我们只需将它正式化，我们已经做了很长时间了，呃... We just need to formalize it, something we've been doing a long time and, uh...
签字。 Sign it.
什么...... What the...
“没有提到标签......” "No mention of tag is..."
荒谬。 - 这是不合理的。 Ridiculous. - It's unreasonable.
感谢你们。 Thank you, guys.
这里。 Here.
好吧，男孩们。 All right, boys.
好吧。 - 很高兴见到你，鲍勃。 All right. - So good to see you, Bob.
你知道吗？当我们休战时不要碰我。这是非常光顾。 You know what? Don't touch me when we're on a truce. It's very patronizing.
是的，这对我来说也有点奇怪。 Yeah, it's a little weird for me, too.
嗯，很高兴与大家见面， Well, it was really nice meeting everyone,
我期待着在这个周末更好地了解你们，并且...... and I look forward to getting to know you guys better this weekend and just...
我不知道。我一生都梦想着这一天，所以... I don't know. I've just dreamt about this day my whole life, so...
恭喜，苏珊。我们很高兴为您服务。 - 这会很棒。 Congrats, Susan. We're happy for you. - It's gonna be great.
谢谢。 Thank you.
男孩，真的很高兴见到你。 It's really good to see you, boys.
干杯。 Cheers.
请给我六个龙舌兰酒。 Six tequilas, please.
致杰瑞。 - 等等。 To Jerry. - Wait.
哦! Oh!
那么，男孩们，它是怎么回事？ So, boys, how did it go?
不好。 - 太糟了。 Not good. - So bad.
所以，太糟糕了。 So, so bad.
你们刚签下你给他标记的机会吗？ Did you guys just sign away your chance to tag him?
是的，但我们仍然可以，因为非婚礼时间是公平的游戏。 Yeah, but we're still okay because non-wedding times are fair game.
我们必须找到合适的窗口。 We just gotta find the right window.
发生了什么？ - 他踢了我们的屁股。 What happened? - He kicked our ass.
嗯，从技术上讲，他打了我的屁股。 - 打你的屁股。 Well, technically, he punched my ass. - Punched your ass.
反复。 - 很难 Repeatedly. - Hard.
那么，根据章程，这是非常非法的。 Well, according to the bylaws, that is highly illegal.
除了他没有打我的混蛋， Except he didn't hit my asshole,
所以这是合法的。 - 这是合法的。 so it's legal. - It's legal.
好的，你在说什么？ Okay, what are you talking about?
这里。 Here.
页”。 Page“.
是!在那里。 Yes! Right there.
没有混蛋冲孔。 No asshole punching.
为什么你会玩一个你经常被屁股打的游戏？ Why would you play a game where you're constantly punched in the ass?
公平的问题，丽贝卡。 Fair question, Rebecca.
嘟。我会接受这个。 Beep. I'll take this.
标签不仅仅是一款游戏。这是一种生活方式。 Tag is more than a game. It's a way of life.
不，伙计。 No, buddy.
这是完全正确的。你钉了它。 That's exactly right. You nailed it.
面部异常。 Facial disgracial.
好的，娄，谢谢。 Okay, Lou, thank you.
我们将从这里开始。呃... We'll take it from here. Uh...
但他完全正确。 But he's exactly right.
它不仅仅是一场游戏。 It's so much more than a game.
说我是LeVar Burton。说我是LeVar Burton。 Say I'm LeVar Burton. Say I'm LeVar Burton.
当Sable失去童贞时我就在那里。 I was there when Sable lost his virginity.
真该死，Hoagie！我差不多完了！ God damn it, Hoagie! I was almost finished!
过来！ Get over here!
当安娜和我有了我们的第一个孩子时，卡拉汉就在那里。 And Callahan was there when Anna and I had our first child.
恭喜，伙计。你是它。做得好，安娜。 Congratulations, buddy. You're it. Doing great, Anna.
当我父亲去世时，所有的人都在我身边。 And all the guys were there for me when my father died.
我想你爸爸真的希望你成为 I think your dad would have really wanted you to be
它在这一刻。 it in this moment.
这个游戏， This game,
这些年来，它给了我们一个参与彼此生活的理由。 it's given us a reason to be in each other's lives all these years.
每个季节的最后一次将羞耻一年。 The last it from each season will live in shame for one year.
那么如果你输了怎么办？ - 你输了。 So what happens if you lose? - You lose.
你是它。 - 获胜者获得了什么？ You're it. - What does the winner get?
没有赢家。只是不是输家。 There are no winners. Just not losers.
我很乐意坐在这里解构与每个人竞争的精神， I would love to sit here and deconstruct the spirit of competition with everyone,
但杰瑞还在松散， but Jerry's still on the loose,
我们必须让他受伤。 and we've got to get him where it hurts.
不在混蛋中。 - 不在混蛋中。明显。 Not in the asshole. - Not in the asshole. Obviously.
哦!伙计们，我们去他家。 Oh! Guys, let's go to his house.
他不会在他家。这太明显了。 He wouldn't be at his house. It's too obvious.
是的，这太明显了，所以他会在那里。这是杰里。 Yeah, it's too obvious, so he's gonna be there. This is Jerry.
也许这是显而易见的，他不会在那里显而易见。 Maybe it's so obvious that it's not obvious that he will be there.
所以他在家里。 - 他不会在那里。 So he's at the house. - He's not gonna be there.
如果他在那里，那么他很明显会在那里， If he's there, then it'll be obvious for him to be there,
所以他不会在那里 so he wouldn't be there
因为他会认为我们会自动到那里，显然。 because he would think that we would automatically come there, obviously.
什么？ What?
你知道吗？一种方法可以找到答案。 You know what? One way to find out.
我们走吧。 Let's go.
对......来说显而易见 It'll be obvious to...
来吧！ Come on!
它被锁定了。 It's locked.
你看到了什么？ What do you see?
很好。 It's nice.
对细节的关注很多，但并不太过分。 There's lot of attention to detail, but not too overdone.
好吧，你能解开吗？ Well, can you just unlock it?
这是打破和进入。 This is breaking and entering.
不，如果你认识这个人就不算数。 No, it doesn't count if you know the person.
事实并非如此。 That is not true.
“你们真的以为我会回家吗？” "Did you guys really think I would be home?"
感觉就像一个陷阱。 Feels like a trap.
好吧，让我们分手吧。我们将覆盖更多的基础。 All right, let's split up. We'll cover more ground.
不，这是一个糟糕的主意。 No, that's a terrible idea.
他永远不会指望它。 He'll never expect it.
请帮我出门。 Now help me out of the door, please.
杰瑞！ Jerry!
他必须在这里。 He's gotta be here.
你有没有来过这里？ Have you ever even been here before?
哦。 Ooh.
芥末蛋。 Deviled eggs.
美味的。这些都很快。 Delicious. These go fast.
他妈的是什么？ What the fuck?
天啊。 Oh, man.
哇。 Whoa.
杰里得了氯仿？ Jerry got chloroform?
他妈的是什么？他已经加强了。 What the fuck? He has stepped it up.
这座城市的航拍地图。一堆蓝图。 Aerial maps of the city. Bunch of blueprints.
五个不同的帽子？哇。 Five different hats? Wow.
人们改变了。 People change.
你是否... Did you...
我什么都没做。 I didn't do anything.
谁在我家附近蹦蹦跳跳？ Who is that scampering around my house?
你好，男孩们，你真的觉得我会回家吗？ Hello, boys, did you really think I'd go home?
你这个白痴。 - 我就知道。 You idiots. - I knew it.
这太明显了。 - 是的 It's too obvious. - Yep.
我的意思是，这只是一个幸运的猜测。 I mean, that's just a lucky guess.
好的，杰里，你在哪儿？ Okay, Jerry, where are you?
你知道，今晚见到你们 You know, seeing you guys tonight
让我想沿着记忆小道散步。 made me wanna take a walk down memory lane.
当当！ Ta-da!
那是你的...... - 那是我的卧室。 Is that your... - That's my bedroom.
你在我父母的家里。你为什么要在我父母的家里？ You're at my parents' house. Why are you at my parents' house?
它比我记得的要小一些。 It's a little smaller than I remember.
你闯进了我的房子！ You broke into my house!
我们闯进了他的房子。 We broke into his house.
是的，我们闯进了你的房子。 Yeah, we broke into your house.
嘿，嘿！看看我找到了谁，Hoag。 Hey, hey! Look who I found, Hoag.
Hoagie，我非常想念你！ Hoagie, I miss you so much!
你和Stubbles先生在做什么？ What are you doing with Mr. Stubbles?
这个小家伙让你通过 This little guy got you through
生活中有很多烦恼，不是吗？ a lot of troubles in life, didn't he?
好的，杰里。 All right, Jerry.
让我们看看这个去哪里。 Let's see where this one goes.
Stubbles先生有话要说。那是什么？ Mr. Stubbles has something to say. What was that?
他说他的皮肤非常干燥。它需要滋润。 He says that his skin's very dry. It needs to be moisturized.
杰里，放下了斯托布斯先生。所以帮助我上帝。 Jerry, put down Mr. Stubbles. So help me God.
这里发生了什么？ What's happening here?
我想他将要在Hoagie的童年卧室手淫。 I think he's about to masturbate in Hoagie's childhood bedroom.
不好了。 Oh, no.
这是支配地位的终极行为。 It's the ultimate act of dominance.
我会留在这里，直到你来。 I'm gonna stay here until you come.
除非我先来。 Unless I come first.
你狡猾的狗。 You sly dog.
走！走！走！ - 你有没有得到他？ Go! Go! Go! - Did you get him?
开车！ - 我开始了。我开始了。 Start the car! - I started it. I started it.
每个人都系好安全带。 Everybody put their seat belts on.
走！走！走！ Go! Go! Go!
每个人都在 - 坚持下去。 Everybody in. - Hold on.
大家都在吗？ Is everybody in?
Stubbies先生，这将是美好而顺利的。 This is gonna be nice and smooth, Mr. Stubbies.
这不会受到任何伤害。 This isn't gonna hurt whatsoever.
留下来。我们为你而来。我们为你而来。 Stay put. We're coming for you. We're coming for you.
是的，但快点！爸爸，快点！ Yeah, but hurry up! Daddy, hurry up!
Stubbles先生不是你的意思。他不能进入你。 Mr. Stubbles is not into you. He can't be into you.
他不是性生活，好吗？所以放下他！ He's not a sexual being, okay? So put him down!
嘿，团队。 Hey, team.
杰瑞，你现在在我的房间怎么样？ Jerry, how are you in my room right now?
我们都在我的房间里。 We're all in my room.
不，我当然不在那里。我在这里。在我的地下室。 No, of course I'm not there. I'm here. In my basement.
你们在哪？ Where are you guys?
你他妈的开玩笑吧？ Are you fucking kidding me?
他在地下室建造了卧室的复制品？ He built a replica of your bedroom in his basement?
晚安，先生们。 Good night, gentlemen.
啊，业余爱好者。 Ah, amateurs.
让我们开始。嗯... Let's begin. Um...
这是一个艰难的开始。 So kind of a rough start.
实际上，那是非常标准的。是的，杰里的极端。 That was pretty standard, actually. Yeah, Jerry's extreme.
手淫是假的，但乐趣是真实的。 The masturbation was fake, but the pleasure was real.
我的意思是，我之前已经说过了，但是我们不会给他打上标签，因为， I mean, I've said it before, but we're not gonna tag him because,
你知道，他在标签方面比我们更好。 you know, he's better at tag than us.
我显然会成为标记杰瑞的人。 I'm obviously going to be the one that tags Jerry.
我一直在和这个日本人一起工作。老师。 I've been working with this Japanese guy. Sensei.
他知道零空手道。 He knows zero karate.
哦，他不懂空手道。他声称知道空手道？ Oh, he doesn't know karate. He's claiming to know karate?
他不懂空手道。我不认为他知道空手道。 He doesn't know karate. I don't think he knows karate.
那么，当我在十年级的时候踢他的时候，他叫什么呢？ Well, then what does he call it when I roundhouse kicked him in 10th grade?
卡拉汉和辣椒确实在高中二年级进入了一场大战 Callahan and Chilli did get in a huge fight sophomore year of high school
而卡拉汉只是用一个美丽的圆屋踢标签辣椒。 and Callahan did just tag Chilli with a beautiful roundhouse kick.
但是在辣椒的防守中，卡拉汉踢他的时候...... But in Chilli's defense, when Callahan kicked him...
他穿着裤子屎！ He shit in his pants!
是的，好吧，从未发生过。 Yeah, okay, that never happened.
实际上有机会直接解决它很好。 And it's nice to actually get an opportunity to address it directly.
无论如何。洗耳恭听。 By all means. I'm all ears.
我的意思是，我非常汗流。背。它很温暖。 I mean, I was very sweaty. It was warm out.
满身是汗的屁股防守？多年来他一直在打鼓。 The sweaty ass defense? He's been banging that drum for years.
如果我记得的话，最热的十月记录在案。仔细看看。 Hottest October on record, if I recall. Look it up.
华尔街日报，你有事实检查员 Wall Street Journal, you have fact checkers
对于这个确切的场景，对吗？ for this exact scenario, right?
嗯，嗯。是啊。 Mmm-hmm. Yeah.
当你在这里时，你能看到跳棋的事实吗？ While you're at it, can you have the fact checkers look into
如果Maury Povich Show上演了吗？因为感觉上演， if The Maury Povich Show is staged? 'Cause it feels staged,
但他发誓不上演。 but he swears it's not staged.
但他们每次都做同样的事情。 But they do the exact same thing every time.
什么？ What?
啊! Ah!
黑貂，我知道杰瑞会在哪里。我需要标签。 Sable, I know where Jerry's gonna be. I need the tag.
好的。 Okay.
是啊。刚拿起晚礼服。 Yeah. Just picked up the tux.
好的，很快见到你，宝贝。 All right, see you soon, babe.
嘿，罗布，你好吗，蓓蕾？很高兴见到你。 Hey, Rob, how're you doing, bud? Good to see you.
你也是，男人。 You, too, man.
格洛丽亚，女士。 Gloria, ma'am.
我的气球！ - 哇！ My balloon! - Whoa!
嘿，这一定是你的，伙计。 Hey, this must be yours, buddy.
谢谢，先生。 Thanks, mister.
哦，看那个。你会吃那整件东西吗？ Oh, look at that. You gonna eat that whole thing?
你知道吗？你应该考虑一些替代小吃。 You know what? You should consider some alternative snacks.
保持健身的乐趣，伙计。 Keeping fitness fun, buddy.
哦。女士，打扰一下。 Oh. Excuse me, ma'am.
你放弃了...... You dropped your...
男士运动交叉式靴子， Men's athletic crossover-style boot,
大小九点半。 size nine and a half.
建议一个既不时髦的男人 Suggests a man that is neither fashionable
也不运动。 nor athletic.
潜艇堡。 Hoagie.
Hoagie知道的很少 Little does Hoagie know
我已经教了六年女子自卫新兵训练营。 I've been teaching a women's self-defense boot camp for six years.
第一道防线101。 First defense 101.
班级正在开课。 Class is in session.
天哪！ Holy shit!
嗯。 Hmm.
你完成了，Hoagie。 - 永远不会！ You're done, Hoagie. - Never!
你完成了。 You're done.
决不！ Never!
好的，我完成了。 All right, I'm done.
伙计，顺便说一句，你看起来很神奇。你真的提升了你的游戏！ Dude, you look amazing, by the way. You've really upped your game!
你怎么知道我会在这里？ How'd you know I was gonna be here?
啊哈！对你感到惊讶吧？ Aha! Surprised you, right?
我看到了你裁缝的接机票 I saw the pick-up ticket for your tailor
那天晚上我们闯进你家。 when we broke into your house the other night.
令人印象深刻。 Impressive.
杰里，我带你失意了。 I'm taking you down, Jerry.
好吧，我们都知道永远不会发生。 Well, we both know that's never gonna happen.
打扰一下。打扰一下。来了。打扰一下。 Excuse me. Excuse me. Coming through. Excuse me.
好家伙。骑兵进来了。 Oh, boy. Cavalry's coming in.
嘿，杰里。 Hey, Jerry.
这位老太太打扰你了吗？ This old lady bothering you?
我很好，马文。谢啦。一切都好。 I'm good, Marvin. Thanks, man. Everything's all right.
它只是我的一个朋友。 It's just a friend of mine.
嘿，很高兴见到你。看起来不错，兄弟。 Hey, it's good to see you. Looking good, brother.
我的男人 - 是的，保持身材。 My man. - Yeah, staying in shape.
他妈的是什么？ What the fuck?
好吧，好吧，也许我会报警。好吧？ All right, well, maybe I'll call the police. All right?
这是攻击。你愿意为此入狱吗？ This is assault. You willing to go to jail for this?
哦，你是该死的，我是。 Oh, you're goddamn right, I am.
好的，那么也许我会引起一个大场景并被捕。 Okay, then maybe I will cause a big scene and get arrested also.
然后，一旦我们都进监狱，我会...... Then, once we both get to jail, I'll just...
什么？贿赂一名警卫？ What? Bribe a guard?
放在我的牢房？是的，我想你会这么说。这很明显。 Be put in my cell? Yeah, I figured you'd say that. It's pretty obvious.
霍格，你必须意识到这需要几个小时， Hoag, you have to realize that's gonna take hours,
在此期间 during which time
我会用牙刷塑造一个shiv I'll have fashioned a shiv from my toothbrush
并用它来谋杀我的同伴。 and used it to murder my cellmate.
你会只是嘲笑你的同伴吗？ You'd just shiv your cellmate?
别担心。他是一个做坏事的坏人， Don't worry. He's a bad person who's done terrible things,
所以伸张正义。 so justice is served.
好的。 Okay.
它让我被单独监禁，这就是我想要的。 It gets me thrown in solitary confinement, which is what I want.
够不着。完全无法解决。 Out of reach. Completely untaggable.
该死的，你已经想到了这一点。 Damn, you have thought this through.
很好，对吧？ Pretty good, right?
看，了解两件事，Hoagie。 Look, understand two things, Hoagie.
首先，你不会搞砸这场婚礼。好的？ First, you're not gonna screw up this wedding. Okay?
其次，我永远不会让你给我留言。 And secondly, I will never let you tag me.
在此之前你会死的。你理解，对吗？ You're gonna die before that ever happens. You understand that, right?
杰瑞，我不害怕死亡。而且我不会放弃 I don't fear death, Jerry. And I'm not gonna give this up
直到我死。 till I die.
好的。祝你好运。 Okay. Good luck.
杰里，在排练中见到你。 See you at the rehearsal, Jerry.
嗯！这些嘘声很疯狂。 Mmm! These hushpuppies are insane.
好的，听着。 All right, listen.
T-minus 34分钟，直到排练晚宴结束，杰瑞的公平比赛。 T-minus 34 minutes until this rehearsal dinner is over, and Jerry's fair game.
我们四个人。有四个出口。让我们扇出来抓住这只老鼠。 There's four of us. There's four exits. Let's fan out and trap this rat.
好的？同步你的手表。 Okay? Synchronize your watches.
我不知道该怎么做。 - 我不戴手表。 I don't know how to do that. - I don't wear a watch.
时间是一种结构。 Time is a construct.
好的，呃，5点。 Okay, uh, 5:00.
可以在开始时说过。 Could have said that at the beginning.
好吧，我们现在说了。 Well, we said it now.
5点，那有多难？ - 5点，是的，这很容易。 5:00, how hard is that? - 5:00, yeah, it's easy.
嗨，大家好。你好吗？ - 你好吗？ Hi, guys. How are you? - How are you?
对不起，这个晚上很抱歉。那不是...... Sorry about the other night. That wasn't...
哦! - 是的，那不酷。 Oh! - Yeah, that wasn't cool.
不，我的意思是，听，我知道这不仅仅是你们。 No. I mean, listen, I know it's not just you guys.
我的意思是，杰瑞比你们所有人都糟糕。 I mean, Jerry's worse than all of you.
他很有竞争力。 He's very competitive.
当我们还是孩子的时候，我们参加了比赛 When we were kids, we had a contest
看谁能在最长的水下屏住呼吸。 to see who could hold their breath for the longest underwater.
他几乎死了。 He almost died.
他赢了，但代价是什么？真？ He won, but at what cost? Really?
哦，我希望他在成为一名父亲时具有竞争力。 Oh, I hope he's this competitive when it comes to being a father.
你怀孕了吗？ Are you pregnant?
真？ - 是的，这就是Shirley Temple的原因。 Really? - Yeah, that's why the Shirley Temple.
天啊！ - 我知道。 Oh, my gosh! - I know.
在这里，干杯！ - 恭喜，太棒了！ Here, cheers! - Congratulations, that's great!
干杯，谢谢！ - 天啊！ Cheers, thank you! - Oh, my gosh!
这是个好消息。 - 谢谢。是啊。 That's such good news. - Thank you. Yeah.
我们并没有告诉很多人。 - 好的。 We're not telling that many people. - Okay.
听着，我知道它会变得有点古怪 Listen, I know it's gonna get a little wacky
在接下来的几天里和你们一起 over the next couple of days with you guys.
当然，他妈的是，是的。 - 好的。 Sure the fuck is, yeah. - Okay.
只是不要走得太远 Just don't go too far
然后去那里打高尔夫球。真是太棒了。做点有趣的事。 and go out there and play golf. It's amazing. Do something fun.
好的？好的。伙计们，伙计们。 - 再见。 Okay? Okay. Bye, guys. - See you.
我喜欢她。她性格漂亮。 I like her. She has a beautiful personality.
非常泡腾。好精力。良好的共鸣。 Very effervescent. Good energy. Good vibes.
啊，不要相信她他妈的说的话。 Ah, don't believe a word she fucking says.
她是一名雇佣的手。她是一名演员。 She's a hired hand. She's an actress.
什么？ - 我的意思是，看看这个婊子的儿子。 What? - I mean, look at this son of a bitch.
这是桑德斯上校的肉体。 - 就像她的叔叔一样。 This is Colonel Sanders in the flesh. - That's, like, her uncle.
这是他妈的杜鲁门秀。 - 你会停下来吗？ It's the fucking Truman Show. - Will you stop?
整个东西。杰里设置了它。我保证。 The whole thing. Jerry set it up. I guarantee it.
这里的每个人都被录用了。 Every single person here has been hired.
你必须冷静下来。 You have gotta calm down.
你好。很高兴见到你。我是他的妻子。 Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm his wife.
杰里，谢丽尔迪肯斯？ Jerry, is that Cheryl Deakins?
哦耶。好。嘿! Oh, yeah. Good. Hey!
你邀请了她？ - 嗯，当然咯。 You invited her? - Yeah, of course.
什么？ What?
什么？我们都是老朋友。 What? We're all old friends.
说得通。 Makes sense.
我不买这个。 I'm not buying this.
是吗，呃...... Is that, uh...
谢丽尔迪肯斯。 Cheryl Deakins.
鲍勃，你知道她要来吗？ You know she was coming, Bob?
我没有。 - 我也没有。 I did not. - I didn't either.
她看起来不错。 She looks good.
大。她总是这样。 - 是的 Great. She always does. - Yeah.
哇！ Wow!
呃，谢丽尔迪肯斯？ Uh, who is Cheryl Deakins?
她喜欢Yoko还是什么？ Is she like the Yoko or something?
我没有得到那个参考， I don't get that reference,
但她的存在会给我们的团队带来压力。 but she's someone whose presence causes strain on our group.
我们从小学就认识她。 We've known her since grade school.
她是辣椒和卡拉汉迷恋的第一个女孩。 She was the first girl that Chilli and Callahan had a crush on.
当我们还是孩子的时候，谢丽尔进入了辣椒， When we were kids, Cheryl was into Chilli,
很多卡拉汉的懊恼。 much to Callahan's chagrin.
但年轻的爱是不可预测的。 But young love is unpredictable.
同年晚些时候，她决定进入卡拉汉， Later that same year, she decided she was into Callahan,
很多辣椒的懊恼。 much to Chilli's chagrin.
但她总是在她心中占有一席之地。 But she always had a place in her heart for Chilli.
这种情况持续了数十年。 And this went on for decades.
突然之间，她刚刚和正牙医生结婚了。 And all of a sudden, she just married an orthodontist.
呵呵。 Huh.
他们得到了所有的小鸡。 They get all the chicks.
什么？ What?
你见过她多久了？ How long has it been since you've seen her?
对我来说大约10年。你呢？ About 10 years for me. How about you?
同样，我想。 Same, I guess.
已经有一段时间。 - 当然有。 Been a while. - Sure has.
你偷偷摸摸的骗子。 You sneaky trickster.
她看起来很神奇，而且你知道。想想这个。 She looks amazing, and you know it. Think about this.
如果谢丽尔最终和我们的男孩一起回来怎么办？ What if Cheryl ended up getting back together with our boy?
辣椒？ - 卡拉汉？ Chilli? - Callahan?
明显。 Obviously.
等待。什么？ - 杜。 Wait. What? - Duh.
你说辣椒了吗？ - 你是卡拉汉队吗？ Did you say Chilli? - You're Team Callahan?
是啊！ - 我们一直都结婚了 Yeah! - We've been married all this time,
而你认为她应该以Callahan结束？ and you think she should end up with Callahan?
当然。等等，你认为辣椒？ Of course. Wait, you think Chilli?
等等，你知道那些家伙吗？ Wait, do you know those guys at all?
你现在是谁？ Who are you right now?
什么？ - 你吓坏我了 What? - You're freaking me out.
我觉得我甚至不认识你。 I feel like I don't even know you.
你就像这个外国人。 You're like this foreign person.
你想让我成为一个外国人吗？ Do you want me to be a foreign person?
什么？ What?
这里？马上？ Here? Right now?
因为，嗯...... Because, um...
我在前往bibliothéque的途中迷路了， I just got lost on the way to bibliothéque,
我不知道我的其他法国朋友在哪里。 and I don't know where all my other French friends are.
Chantelle在这儿？ Chantelle is here?
Chantelle在这里...... Chantelle is here with...
哦，我的上帝！ Oh, my God!
亲爱的，快到5点了。 Honey, it's almost 5:00.
保持头脑清醒。 Keep your head in the game.
你这么好。 You're so good.
来吧，我们将去洗手间五分钟。 Come on, we'll go to the bathroom for five minutes.
好吧。 All right.
这很疯狂。 - 嗯 It's crazy. - Huh.
嘿，你应该和她谈谈。 - 不，你应该去。 Hey, you should go talk with her. - No, you should go.
你们两个都不应该。 Neither of you should.
谢谢。 - 不用谢。没有一个。 Thanks. - You're welcome. Neither one.
闭嘴，黑貂。 Shut up, Sable.
不，老实说，应该是你，鲍勃。 No, honestly, it should be you, Bob.
不，我想她真的想跟你说话 No, I think she really wants to talk to you
因为我认为女孩真的很喜欢，你知道， 'cause I think girls really like, you know,
沮丧的家伙仍然有他们的名字的名字。 depressed guys that still have a name for their bong.
得到一个好的。 Get a good one.
这会很棒。 This is gonna go great.
谢谢。 Thank you.
好的，好建议。 All right, good advice.
祝你好运。 Good luck.
告诉她我说你好。 Tell her I said hi.
谢丽尔迪肯斯。 Cheryl Deakins.
辣椒西莉亚诺。 Chilli Cilliano.
你怎么知道这是我？ How'd you know it was me?
我会知道任何地方都有淡淡的苜蓿和老香料味。 I'd know that faint smell of sativa and Old Spice anywhere.
是啊。我不得不被扔石头。 Yeah. I had to get a little stoned.
我不能对这些事情保持清醒。他们太可怕了。 I can't be sober at these things. They're awful.
这是错误的选择，伙计。 That was the wrong choice, man.
什么？ What?
你们两个都不应该离开，但是如果你们其中一个人应该去了， Neither of you should have gone, but if one of you should have went,
那应该是你。 then it should have been you.
你有多少份葡萄酒？ How many wines have you had?
章鱼有多少条腿？ How many legs does an octopus have?
好吧，八点。 Well, eight.
我看到你一直拒绝时尚潮流 I see that you've been rejecting fashion trends
和理发，也许卫生。我尊重。 and haircuts and maybe hygiene. I respect that.
好吧，我认为尊重是重建友谊的关键。 Well, I think respect is the key to the beginning of rebuilding a friendship.
这是一个说法吗？也许？ - 好，当然。谁说的？ Is that a saying? Maybe? - Yeah, sure. Who said that?
我不知道。我想知道你的这个丈夫。 I don't know. I wanna hear about this husband of yours.
这是什么故事？他还是迷人，懂事，富有吗？ What's the story? Is he still charming, sensible, rich?
没死。 No. Dead.
是的，和我一样 Yeah, same with me.
对我来说已经死了。离婚。 Dead to me. Divorced.
不，我的意思是他“死了”死了。他竟然死了。 No, I mean he's "dead" dead. He actually died.
他死了？ He's dead?
真的？ For real?
哦... Oh...
是的，他，嗯...... Yeah, he, um...
他在车祸中丧生。我们已经分开了。 He died in a car crash. We were separated already.
哦，你已经分开了。 Oh, you already separated.
是啊。 - 现在他已经死了。他已经去了。 Yeah. - And now he's dead. He's gone.
他已经去了。 - 正式。 He's gone. - Officially.
对此有点不高兴。 Act a little more upset about it.
我知道，但是，无论如何，你好吗？你过得怎么样？ I know, but, anyway, how are you? How's your life?
大。我失去了生意。离婚。有竞争力地玩标签。 Great. I lost my business. Divorced. Playing tag competitively.
几乎是岩石底部。 Pretty much rock bottom.
你想让我变成角质吗？ - 操，是的，林。 Are you trying to make me horny? - Fuck yes, lam.
因为它正在发生。 - 它是？ 'Cause it's happening. - It is?
哦耶。 Oh, yeah.
所以你试过hushpuppies，或者什么？ So have you tried the hushpuppies, or what?
你觉得他们在谈论什么？ What do you think they're talking about?
我不知道，我不想让你担心。 I don't know, and I don't want you to worry about it.
我们有15分钟。 We've got 15 minutes.
哦，辣椒，我一直在想你，辣椒。 Oh, Chilli, I think about you all the time, Chilli.
哦耶？但卡拉汉怎么样？他太帅了。 Oh, yeah? But what about Callahan? He's so handsome.
他非常英俊，但他是一个自私的情人 He's very handsome, but he's a selfish lover
用一个小鸡巴。 with a small dick.
真？ Really?
加上他来之后他就哭了起来。 Plus he sobs after he comes.
好的。 Okay.
哇。 Wow.
没关系，卡拉汉。没什么值得羞耻的。 It's okay, Callahan. It's nothing to be ashamed of.
好的，你知道吗？你们都是12岁的孩子。 Okay, you know what? You guys are all 12-year-olds.
哦，辣椒。 Oh, Chilli.
嘿，谢丽尔，我想重新联系。 Hey, Cheryl, I want to reconnect.
哦耶。 Oh, yeah.
现在发生了什么？ - 哦，鲍勃！ What's happening now? - Oh, Bob!
是的，我只是...哦，我只是感受到了共鸣。 Yeah, I'm just... Oh, I'm just feeling the vibes.
我的意思是，谁想与一个名叫鲍勃的男人发生性关系？ I mean, who wants to have sex with a guy named Bob?
“哦，鲍勃。”听起来不对劲。 “哦，鲍勃。” "Oh, Bob." Just doesn't sound right. "Oh, Bob."
赢了，鲍勃。“赢了，鲍勃。” won, Bob." won, Bob."
“鲍勃。鲍勃，鲍勃。” - “哦，罗伯特。” "Bob. Bob, Bob." - "Oh, Robert."
“鲍勃”。 "Bob."
你不知道我不会给你发短信吗？ I wasn't gonna text you, you know?
你结婚的时候我不想惹你。 I didn't wanna mess with you when you were married.
不，我觉得这很好。尊敬的。 No, I think that's nice. Respectful.
如果我知道他已经死了，我会马上发短信。 If I knew he was dead, I would have texted right away.
好吧。好的。 All right. Okay.
没有！请不要离开！ - 不，没关系。 No! Please don't leave on that! - No, it's fine.
我们很好。我们很好。我要用女士的房间。 We're good. We're good. I'm just gonna use the ladies' room.
以后我会来看你。 - 好的。 I'll see you later. - Okay.
我很高兴认识你。 - 很高兴见到你。 It's nice to see you. - It's great to see you.
你也是。 You too.
寡。 Widowed.
谢丽尔迪肯斯。 Cheryl Deakins.
你在这里做什么？ What are you doing here?
小便池在哪里？ And where are the urinals?
可能在男人的房间里。 Probably in the men's room.
你没有改变一点。 - 谢谢。 You haven't changed a bit. - Thank you.
不，这不是一种恭维。 No, that was not a compliment.
好吧，我已经成熟了。 Well, I have matured.
你呢？真？ Have you? Really?
因为这个旧的举动让你跟着我走进浴室， Because this old move where you follow me into the bathroom,
这正是你在初级舞会上所做的。 it's exactly what you did at junior prom.
那是一个很好的举动，现在是一个很好的举措。 It was a good move then, and it's a good move now.
边缘更好的浴室。 - 嗯。 Marginally nicer bathroom. - Mmm.
你想喝一杯吗？ Do you wanna get a drink?
呃，实际上，我想我会回家。 Uh, actually, I think I'm gonna head home.
我能帮你搭个车吗？ Can I give you a ride?
当然。 - 太棒了 Sure. - Great.
就在我们喝完之后。 Right after we have that drink.
哦，我明白你在那里做了什么。 Oh, I see what you did there.
好的，伙计们。几乎是时候了。大家都在位吗？过度。 Okay, guys. It's almost go time. ls everybody in position? Over.
黑貂就位。 Sable is in position.
辣椒！ - 是的我们来接他吧。 Chilli! - Yeah. Let's get him.
卡拉汉。卡拉汉，你读过我吗？过度。 Callahan. Callahan, do you read me? Over.
卡拉汉。哥们，你在哪儿？ Callahan. Where are you, buddy?
卡拉汉！ Callahan!
我们有一个无人看守的出口，好吗？ We got an unguarded exit, okay?
你好。 Hi.
卡拉汉！ Callahan!
走！走！走！走！ Go! Go! Go! Go!
走！ Go!
不是今天，妈妈！ Not today, motherfucker!
嘿，谢谢你的光临。欣赏它。 Hey, thanks for coming. Appreciate it.
走！走！ Go! Go!
来吧，婊子！ Come and get it, bitches!
进入！进入！ - 我们很接近我们很接近。 Get in! Get in! - We're close. We're close.
走！ Go!
等一下！等一下！ - 去吧！ Hold on! Hold on! - Go, go!
走得快！走得快！ Go faster! Go faster!
头晕目眩！ Giddy up!
我们为你而来！ We're coming for you!
去，Hoagie，去吧！ Go, Hoagie, go!
耶稣！ Jesus!
来袭！ Incoming!
王八蛋！ - 来吧！ Son of a bitch! - Come on!
CHILLll Go！走！ CHILLll Go! Go!
天哪，我希望我的枪在这里。 God, I wish I had my gun here.
有很多好鸟可以射击。 There are so many good birds to shoot.
所以这是一个假期吗？ So this is a vacation for you?
是啊。我的意思是，有些夫妇继续游轮。有些夫妇去露营。 Yeah. I mean, some couples go on cruises. Some couples go camping.
有些夫妇去脱衣舞俱乐部并且有钢棒， Some couples go to strip clubs and have gangbangs,
这就是我们的工作。这就是我们的爱。 and this is just what we do. This is what we love.
这是我们的乱搞。 This is our gangbang.
你知道，在我看来你会非常擅长这场比赛。 You know, it seems to me like you'd be really good at the game.
你为什么不玩？ - 好， Why don't you play? - Well,
他们九岁时就提出了规则。没有女孩允许。 they came up with the rules when they were nine. No girls allowed.
说实话，我可以得到一点 And to be honest, I can get a little
过于激进和竞争有时。 overly aggressive and competitive sometimes.
来吧，杰里。你死了！ Come on, Jerry. You're dead meat!
是的，踢他的屁股！ Yeah, kick his ass!
让你的眼睛保持低地！ Keep your eyes downfield!
穿过第四个球道！ Cut across the fourth fairway!
不要搞砸了！ Don't fuck this up!
是啊。好。 Yeah. Well.
哦，我得告诉你我们孩子的照片。 Oh, I have to show you pictures of our kids.
冲啊！ Go, go, go!
得到他，Hoagie。抓住他！ Get him, Hoagie. Get him!
等一下。等一下。 Hold on. Hold on.
Hoagie，停！ Hoagie, stop!
Hoagie，你在干嘛？ - 我看不到！ Hoagie, what are you doing? - I can't see!
啊！喔！ Ahh! Whoo!
大家好吗？ Everybody good?
我很好。我很好。 I'm fine. I'm fine.
好吧，那件事发生了。 Well, that happened.
向前。 Onward.
我们来接他吧。 Let's get him.
喔！那令人振奋。 Whoo! That was invigorating.
上。 On.
那是心理战。 That is psychological warfare right there.
这令人印象深刻。 That's impressive.
是的，这是一个很好的举动。 Yeah, that's a good move.
耶，好！ Good one, Jer!
他在那！ There he is!
嗨，小子们。 Hello, boys.
什么？ What?
什么...... What the...
他是怎么做到的？ How's he doing this?
好吧，杰里，停下来！ All right, Jerry, stop!
他正在倍增！它正在发生！ He's multiplying! It's happening!
他妈的是什么？ - 有一个！ What the fuck? - There's one!
一个在那里！ One is there!
嘿! - 什么？ Hey! - What?
你们，有这么多人。有这么多！ You guys, there's so many. There's so many!
什么...... What the...
他在那！我来找你，杰里！ There he is! I'm coming for you, Jerry!
辣椒，你甚至不是它！ Chilli, you're not even it!
我在你的屁股！ I'm on your ass!
来吧！ Come on!
妈的！ Oh, shit!
拉屎！ Shit!
这很糟糕。这纯粹是废话。 This is terrible. This is pure bullshit.
我们不应该在这里。 We should not be here.
这太过极了。 This is getting way too extreme.
我需要你努力，黑貂。 I need you to buck up, Sable.
是啊。 - 来吧，让我们保持专注。 Yeah. - Come on, let's stay focused.
是的，我们从该死的高尔夫球车里挣脱出来。 Yeah, we bucked up out of the goddamn golf cart.
你闻到了吗？你闻到了吗？ You smell that? Do you smell it?
这是杰瑞。我闻到了他的味道 It's Jerry. I smell him.
它是叶子和草。 It's leaves and grass.
和蜈蚣。 And centipedes.
只是典型的森林东西。 Just typical woods stuff.
他很亲密。 He's close.
我能感觉到。 I can feel it.
我能感受到一些东西。 I can feel something.
妈的！ Oh, shit!
耶稣！哦，我的上帝！ - 妈的。 Jesus! Oh, my God! - Oh, shit.
哦，我的上帝！ - 哇，这太疯狂了。 Oh my, God! - Wow, that's crazy.
我们的朋友是一个精神病患者，这是可怕的。 Our friend is a psychopath, and this is scary.
他找到了我。我不高兴。 He got me. I'm down.
现在就在你身上。过来。 This is on you now. Come here.
让我来标记你。 Let me tag you.
来吧！ Come on!
好吧。 All right.
我可以看到他。 I can see him.
他现在三点钟。 50码外 He's at three o'clock. 50 yards out.
三点整。得到它了。 - 三点整。 Three o'clock. Got it. - Three o'clock.
黑貂！ Sable!
那三点钟。 That three o'clock.
你没说什么时区，伙计！ - 没有时区。 You didn't say which time zone, man! - There's no time zones.
你为什么不第一次指出？下一次，只是指出。 Why didn't you just point the first time? Next time, just point.
就是这样。走！ It's that way. Go!
好的。 - 冲啊。 Okay. - Go, go, go.
去，黑貂，去吧！ Go, Sable, go!
我看见你。 I see you.
是的，妈妈。 Yeah, motherfucker.
你是它！ You're it!
哦，我不喜欢那样。 Oh, I don't like that.
睡觉。 Sleep.
黑貂？ Sable?
发生了什么？ What happened?
好吧，你得到氯仿。 Well, you got chloroformed.
Chloroformed？什么？ Chloroformed? What?
鲍勃接过我们的车，现在我们在Lyft。 Bob took our car, and now we're in a Lyft.
我们要去矶鹬。 We're going to the Sandpiper.
我不想再这样了。 I don't wanna be it anymore.
我不想成为它。 Hoagie，它在你身上，蓓蕾。 I don't wanna be it. Hoagie, it's on you, bud.
现在，他妈的是什么？ Now, what the fuck?
等待。我很困惑。刚刚发生了什么？ Wait. I'm confused. What just happened in there?
好吧，杰瑞早早醒来，得到了一些地勤人员 Well, Jerry woke up early, got some grounds crew
在树林里出去，建造一些陷阱和摆动日志陷阱， to go out in the woods, build some snares and a swinging log trap,
而且，呃，穿搭配服装作为诱饵。 and, uh, wear matching outfits to act as decoys.
疯子。 Maniac.
你还好吗？ Are you okay?
是的是的。我是。嗯...我很好。 Yes, yes. lam. lam... I'm good.
我很惊讶你能够保持这么乐观。 I am amazed that you're able to stay so optimistic after all that.
好吧，有些人说我是游戏的核心和灵魂。 Well, some have said I am the heart and soul of the game.
不，你说过。 No, you've said that.
你是我听过的唯一一个人。 You're the only person I've heard say that.
那么，技术上“只有我”符合“一些”的法律定义 Well, technically "just me" fits the legal definition of "some,"
所以吸一个鸡巴。 so suck a dick.
好吧，看起来游戏真的让你们保持联系。 Well, it seems like the game has really kept you guys connected.
究竟。 - 好吧，除了杰里。 Exactly. - Well, except Jerry.
什么？不要这么说。 What? Don't say that.
你经常看到杰瑞在标签之外？ How often do you see Jerry outside of tag?
嗯......好吧，不是超级频繁，但...... Hmm... Well, not super frequently, but...
我的意思是，你会认为这是一种亲密的友谊吗？ I mean, would you consider that a close friendship?
嗯，这是一个狡猾的问题。 Well, that's kind of a dicky question.
谢谢。 Thank you.
我只是说，卡拉汉他妈的好在这里。 All I'm saying is, Callahan better fucking be here.
怎么了？什么？ What's up? What?
看谁决定出现。 Look who decided to show up.
什么？我和北京打了个电话。 What? I had a business call with Beijing.
无法帮助。对不起。 Couldn't be helped. I'm sorry.
与北京的商务电话？星期六早上8点就到了。 Business call with Beijing? It would have been 8:00 a.m. Saturday out there.
你周六早上8点做生意电话？ You doing business calls at 8:00 a.m. Saturday morning?
为什么你对北京时区了解多少？ Why do you know so much about Beijing time zones?
2008年奥运会。迈克尔菲尔普斯，宝贝。 2008 Olympics. Michael Phelps, baby.
很公平。好的，无论如何，我有个主意。 Fair enough. Okay, anyway, I have an idea.
有人想听吗？ - 是的 Anybody want to hear it? - Yes.
它是什么？ - 杰瑞的健身房。 What is it? - Jerry's gym.
有人必须知道他在哪里。 Someone there's gotta know where he is.
我喜欢这个。那是一个好主意。 - 好极了！ I like this. That's a good idea. - Great!
顶部！扣上，团伙！ - 是的！头晕目眩！ Up top! Buckle up, gang! - Yes! Giddy up!
顺便说一句，你就是它。 - 哪里不对？ You're it, by the way. - What's wrong?
我他妈的膝盖。 - 你的膝盖有什么问题？ My fucking knee. - What's wrong with your knee?
我被日志击中了。 I got hit by a log.
你被日志击中了，什么？ You got hit by a log, what?
我们在追他。我被他妈的日志击中了。真的很疼。 We were chasing him. I got hit by a fucking log. It really hurts.
我要进去了。他妈的，我很生气，但是去吧。 I'm gonna go in. Fuck, I'm pissed off about this, but go.
你想让我给儿科医生打个电话？ You want me to call the pediatrician?
我是一个成年人。我不需要儿科医生。 I'm an adult. I don't need a pediatrician.
你不来？ You're not coming?
我想我会慢下来的。你们为什么不去？ I think I'm gonna slow you down. Why don't you guys go?
在健身房之后，让我们见面吧。 After the gym, let's meet up.
好的，很好。 All right, fine.
相信我，我想去，但我只是...... Trust me, I wanna go, but I just...
你们都需要一个子？咦？我在！ Y'all need a sub? Huh? I'm in!
我们超级好，伙计。谢谢！ We're super good, man. Thanks!
我们很好。 We're good.
谁现在被禁止，婊子？ Who's banned now, bitch?
我还好。好吧，伙计们。别紧张！ I'm okay. All right, guys. Take it easy!
唷。 Phew.
哦，膝盖快速愈合。 Oh, that knee healed up fast.
娄，远离这个。 Stay out of this, Lou.
哦，你这个俏皮的恶魔。 Oh, you saucy devil.
嘿，那里，欢迎来到Granite Fitness。努力，坚持下去。 Hey, there, welcome to Granite Fitness. Get hard, stay hard.
大家都知道，我们将在五分钟后关闭， Just so you guys know, we're going to be closing in five short minutes,
但有什么我可以帮你的吗？ but is there anything I can help you with?
是的，戴夫，事实上，你可以帮助我们。 Yes, Dave, in fact, there is something you could help us with.
你想怎么赚500美元？ How would you like to earn $500?
好吧，就这样你们都知道，我不是在吮吸你们这些家伙，好吗？ Okay, just so you guys know, I'm not sucking your guys' dicks, all right?
而且我也不会让你吮吸我的鸡巴。 And I'm not letting you suck my dick either.
没有人在谈论任何吸吮任何人的人。 No one is talking about anyone sucking anyone's anything.
你确定？因为这家伙正在努力地盯着我。 You sure about that? 'Cause this guy's eyeing me hard.
什么？ What?
我只是说，伙计，你有这种氛围。 I'm just saying, man, you've got that vibe.
是吗？ - 停下来。 Yeah? - Stop it.
嘿，黑貂，认真。寒意。 Hey, Sable, seriously. Chill.
停下来吧- 停下来。 Just stop it. - Stop it.
这太性了。从字面上看，你现在正用眼睛脱掉我的衣服。 It's too sexual. You're undressing me, literally, right now with your eyes.
戴夫。 500美元，我们想要的只是知道杰里在哪里。 Dave. 500 bucks, and all we want is to know where Jerry is.
哦! Oh!
杰瑞。是的，好的，狗屎。 Jerry. Yes, okay, shit.
他确实提到有些人会因为寻找他而摇摆不定。 He did mention that some people were gonna swing by looking for him.
他留言了。嗯，是的，是的。 He left a message. Um, oh, yeah.
去操你自己。 Go fuck yourselves.
好的，看。 $ 1,000。好吧？快钱。 Okay, look. $1,000. All right? Easy money.
杰瑞甚至都不知道你卖掉了他。 Jerry won't even know that you sold him out.
我有一个更好的主意。你为什么不回去 I got a better idea. Why don't you go back
到你住的小西佳 to the little Best Western that you're staying in
并在裸体中互相拉扯？ and jerk each other off in the nude?
你为什么一直把这个谈话带到性方向？ Why do you keep taking this conversation into a sexual direction?
听着，戴夫。 $ 1500元。不要白痴。 Listen, Dave. $1,500. Don't be an idiot.
没有机会，你舔同性恋恐惧症。 Not a chance, you dick-sucking homophobes.
嘿! - 什么？ Hey! - What?
戴夫？ Dave?
你知道我们要做什么吗？ Do you know what we're gonna do?
什么？ What?
我们要给你浇水。 We're gonna waterboard you.
戴夫，不要成为英雄。 Don't be a hero, Dave.
杰里并没有对你说些什么。 Jerry doesn't give a shit about you.
所以告诉我们他在哪里。 So tell us where he is.
我永远不会告诉你。 I'm never gonna tell you.
最后的机会，戴夫。 Last chance, Dave.
对于某些游戏你不会经历这个，所以戒掉我！ You're not gonna go through with this for some game, so quit jerking me off!
哦，耶稣。 Oh, Jesus.
孩子，没有人抽搐你 No one's jerking you off, kid,
因为杰瑞把我们逼到了他妈的边缘。 'cause Jerry has pushed us to the fucking edge.
如果您没有告诉我们我们需要知道什么， If you don't tell us what we need to know,
你和我们一起走过了边缘。 you're going over the edge with us.
你准备为这个狗屎死吗？ You ready to die for this shit?
我宁可死也不愿被同性恋者所吸引。 I'd rather die than get sucked off by you homophobes.
我们不会惹你生气。我们要给你浇水。 We're not gonna suck you off. We're gonna waterboard you.
我现在正采取原则立场。 I'm just taking a principled stand right now.
好的。好吧，猜猜看。现在，这将会发生。好吧？ Okay. Well, guess what. Now, this is gonna happen. All right?
你准备好了吗？儿子，我希望你能屏住呼吸！ Are you ready? I hope you can hold your breath, son!
做吧！ Do it!
因为这是正确的！ 'Cause this is going right down!
是啊！ - 是的！你这个婊子的儿子！ Yeah! - Yeah! You son of a bitch!
它来了！ Here it comes!
它来了！它来了！它来了！ It's coming! It's coming! It's coming!
是啊。你知道，我们不应该。 Yeah. You know, we should not.
我觉得这太过分了。对不起。对不起。对不起。 I feel like it would be way too much. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
唷。那失控了。 Phew. That got out of hand.
我的心脏现在快速跳动。 My heart is beating really fast right now.
我们只是在开玩笑。我们只是虚张声势。 We were just kidding. We were just bluffing.
不，我们不是他妈的虚张声势！ - 安娜，安娜，安娜！ No, we weren't fucking bluffing! - Anna, Anna, Anna!
哦，天啊，不。就是不行。 - 亲爱的。 Oh, my God, no. Just, no. - Sweetheart.
这是一场战争罪，对吧？我们不是真的是谁。 It's a war crime, right? It's not really who we are.
对，抱歉。 Yes, sorry.
我们这边有一只变态的猫。 We got a kinky cat over here.
好的。 - 操你，戴夫。 Okay. - Fuck you, Dave.
天啊，我爱你的激情。 God, I love your passion.
我会告诉你什么。 I'll tell you what.
我会告诉你Jerry会在哪里 I will tell you where Jerry's gonna be
2000美元。现金。美国人。 for $2,000. Cash. American.
好的。 - 没问题。 Okay, fine. - No problem.
你为什么不首先说这个？ Why didn't you say that in the first place?
你为什么带我们走这条路呢？ Why did you take us down this whole road?
好吧，看起来有谈判的余地， Well, it looked like there was room to negotiate,
而且我已经准备好这样做了。 and I was all prepared to do that.
但后来我们走下了整个酷刑轨道， But then we went down the whole torture track,
而且我只是在哲学上挖了我的脚跟。 and I just dug my heels in, philosophically.
我碰巧是反对者。 I happen to be an objector.
我们也是，显然。 - 不是真的。 We are too, obviously. - Not really.
这是虚张声势。 It was a bluff.
你知道吗？你可能不应该写下来， You know what? You should probably not write this down,
如果确实出现了 and if it does come up,
只是提到我们实际上并没有给他打水。 just mention that we didn't actually waterboard him.
没有水刑。 No waterboarding.
只是很多关于吸吮对方蠢事的讨论。 Just a lot of talk about sucking each other's dicks.
是啊。 Yeah.
好的，看，你知道吗？这里。 Okay, look, you know what? Here.
我要给你2000美元，我要给你额外的500美元。 I'm gonna give you $2,000, and I'm gonna give you an extra $500.
你只是整天带着那种现金吗？ You just carry around that kind of cash all day?
我想，你提到了一些关于杰里的事情。 You were mentioning something about Jerry, I think.
是的，呃，Jerry在AA。 Yeah, uh, Jerry is in AA.
等等，什么？ - 是的酗酒者匿名。 Wait, what? - Yeah. Alcoholics Anonymous.
我知道它代表什么。等等，你们对此有何了解？ I know what it stands for. Wait, did you guys know anything about this?
他每天早上都去布伦瑞克的一个教堂。 He goes there every morning at a church on Brunswick.
回想起来，我可以看到它。 Looking back, I can kind of see it.
我的意思是，第一步是认识到你有问题。 I mean, the first step is recognizing you have a problem.
我很高兴他能得到他需要的帮助。 I'm just glad he's getting the help he needs.
对不起，你说过教堂在布伦瑞克吗？ Sorry, did you say that church is on Brunswick?
是。 - 好的！ Yes. - Okay!
我们走吧！清理水！ - 谢谢！ Let's go! Clean up the water! - Thank you!
非常抱歉。 So sorry.
我告诉过你这不会只是另一个无聊的公司简介，对吧？ I told you this wasn't gonna be just another boring corporate profile, right?
对。这绝对是不同的。 Right. This is definitely different.
而且我知道我不再是故事的中心， And I know I'm no longer the center of the story,
哪个对我很好。我不介意放弃...... which is fine with me. I don't mind giving up the...
鲍勃，我可以给你买一杯饮料吗？ Bob, can I buy you a drink?
你他妈的相信吗？等一下。 Can you fucking believe this? Hold on one second.
也许...... - 一秒钟，一秒钟。 Maybe... - One second, one second.
可怕的经历。所以我们永远不会这样做...... Terrible experience. So that we will never do it...
嗨！嗨！哇！看这个。 Hi! Hi! Wow! Look at this.
你好吗？ - 很好 How you doing? - Good.
非常好。是的，我们只是追赶。 Pretty good. Yeah, we're just catching up.
真是太好了。膝盖怎么样？ That's so nice. How's that knee?
它确实伤害了。 - 是的 It actually does hurt. - Yeah.
但休息和与老朋友交谈其实确实有帮助。 But resting and talking to an old friend has actually really helped.
谢谢你的慰问。 Thank you for asking.
嘿，北京的商务电话怎么样？ Hey, how was the business call with Beijing?
超好。 - 它是？ Super good. - It was?
是的，我做了很多。 - 太棒了 Yeah, I got a lot done. - Great.
哦，你觉得我伪造了我对北京的商务电话 Oh, what, you think I faked my business call to Beijing
就像你假装伤了你的膝盖？ like you faked hurting your knee?
你知道吗，伙计？我厌倦了这个狗屎，鲍勃。 You know what, dude? I'm sick of this shit, Bob.
你是它。那个怎么样？ - 不！通过。 You're it. How about that? - No! Pass.
你无法通过。你无法回复。 - 你是它。我通过。 You can't pass. And you can't tag back. - You're it. I pass.
哦，我的上帝。 - 这就像字面上的第一条规则。 Oh, my God. - It's like literally the first rule.
你是它！你是它！你是它！ - 你不能给我回信！ You're it! You're it! You're it! - You cannot tag me back!
我会改写他妈的规则书！ - 闭嘴！ I'll rewrite the fucking rule book! - Shut up!
你为什么表现得像孩子？ Why're you acting like children?
因为他开始了。 - 你先开始的。 'Cause he started it. - You started it.
你真的开始了。 You literally started it.
不，你开始了！ - “哦，我的膝盖疼了。” No, you started it! - "Oh, my knee hurts."
你觉得他们在谈论什么？ What do you think they're talking about?
我们没有记录吗？ Are we off the record?
是的，当然，确定。 Yeah, sure, sure.
不知道。 No idea.
你知道吗？我不应该来。 You know what? I shouldn't have come.
杰瑞总是站起来。 Jerry always gets in your head.
杰瑞告诉你这么说吗？ Did Jerry tell you to say that?
你是整个杜鲁门秀的一部分吗？ You part of the whole Truman Show of it all?
我的意思是，杰里邀请我参加排练晚宴 I mean, Jerry invited me to the rehearsal dinner
因为他认为这会分散你们的注意力 because he thought it would distract you guys, which it did.
但是，嗯，我想见到你。所以我来了。 But, um, I wanted to see you. So I came.
当然。 Sure.
在，我的上帝。 On, my God.
你们他妈的白痴。你们俩。但我爱你们俩。 You guys are fucking idiots. Both of you. But I love you both.
我要走了。也许我以后会见到你。或不。 I'm gonna go. Maybe I'll see you later. Or not.
谢丽尔...... - 去杰里。他妈的配得上它。 Cheryl... - Go get Jerry. He fucking deserves it.
再见，谢丽尔。 Bye, Cheryl.
哇！ Wow!
你想要什么？ What do you want?
谢丽尔会有足够的时间被拒绝 There's gonna be plenty of time to get rejected by Cheryl
6月1日中午12点过后。 after 12:00 a.m. on June 1st.
所以我需要你们关注的是，我们是一个团队。 So what I need you guys to focus on, is the fact that we're a team.
对？我们彼此相爱，我们喜欢这个。 Right? We love each other, and we love this.
让我们沉浸其中。专注于我们的使命。好吧？ Let's bask in that. Stay focused on our mission. All right?
让我们回到这匹马骑行。 Let's get back on this horse and ride.
让我们来看看这个混蛋。 Let's get this asshole.
娄，不是它的一部分。一点也不。 Lou, not part of it. Not at all.
现在，摇一摇。 Now, shake.
摇！ Shake!
好吧。现在我们有一些工作要做。 All right. Now we got some work to do.
得到它了。 Got it.
亲爱的，去吧。 Go get him, sweetie.
好的。 Okay.
嘿，你认为我们应该和Jerry谈论成为一名酗酒者 Hey, do you think we should talk to Jerry about being an alcoholic
在我们进入这一切之前？ - 没有。 before we get into all this? - No.
但现在，我已经干净清醒了将近四年。 But now, I've been clean and sober for almost four years.
感谢大家和更高的力量。阿门？ Thanks to all of you and that higher power. Amen?
阿门。 - 阿门 Amen. - Amen.
杰里，你准备分享了吗？ Jerry, you about ready to share?
来吧，你们，让我们放弃杰瑞。 Come on, y'all, let's give it up for Jerry.
我叫杰瑞。 - 嗨，杰里。 My name is Jerry. - Hi, Jerry.
杂草的轻微气味。辣椒。他认为他让我措手不及。 The slight scent of weed. Chilli. He thinks he's caught me off guard.
哦，我的上帝！我让他措手不及。 Oh, my God! I've caught him off guard.
他从后面冲进来。 He rushes in from behind.
白痴。我给他敲响了警钟。 Idiot. I give him a wake-up call.
榛子咖啡？什么样的婊子喝榛子？ Hazelnut coffee? What kind of bitch drinks hazelnut?
圣！辣椒！打我！ Holy! Chilli! Hit me!
抓住他！ Get him!
我要抓住他并将他贴在脸上， I'm going to trap him and tag him in the face,
然而，在我内心深处，相信它不会起作用。 and yet, in my heart of hearts, pretty sure it's not gonna work.
Hoagie试图面对我失败是因为他缺乏自信。 Hoagie's attempts to face me fail because he lacks confidence.
另外，我认为可以公平地说， Also, I think it's fair to say,
我这些免费甜甜圈他妈的外科手术。 I'm fucking surgical with these complimentary donuts.
这就是印刷新闻业即将消亡的原因。 And this is why print journalism is dying.
是!这是我一直在等待的那一刻。 Yes! This is the moment I've been waiting for.
我将成为标记杰瑞的人。 I'm going to be the one who tags Jerry.
卡拉汉会被他自己的傲慢思想分散注意力， Callahan will become distracted by his own arrogant thoughts,
我将利用它。 which I will exploit.
这将是我的胜利， This will be my victory,
这是有道理的，因为成功孕育成功...... which makes sense because success breeds success...
天啊。 Oh, God.
为什么“双周”意味着每周两次和每隔一周？ How come "bi-weekly" means both twice a week and every other week?
这是令人困惑的，它只是语言上的懒惰。 That's mad confusing and it's just linguistically lazy.
妈的！ Oh, shit!
天哪！ - 过度。 Holy shit! - Excessive.
感到困惑，杰里？ Feeling trapped, Jerry?
没有。 No.
尼斯。 Nice.
天哪！ Holy shit!
不不不！ No, no, no!
杰里，我们找到了你！你被困了！ We got you, Jerry! You're trapped!
你婚礼五个小时！如果可以，我们可以等一下！ Five hours till your wedding! We can wait it out if you can!
拉屎。你知道我刚刚意识到了什么吗？ Shit. You know what I just realized?
那里有很多圣餐酒和晶圆。 There's a lot of sacramental wine and wafers in there.
他可以存活很长一段时间。 He could survive for quite a while.
不，他不能喝酒。 No, he can't drink.
是的，但它不是真正的葡萄酒。 - 是的。 Yeah, but it's not real wine. - Yes, it is.
它只是葡萄汁。这不是葡萄酒。 It's just grape juice. It's not wine.
我的意思是，我曾经如此糟糕，以至于我在侄女的婴儿床上屎了一下。 I mean, I was once so fucked up that I took a shit in my niece's crib.
哦。 - 两次，如果你问我的嫂子。 Oh. - Twice, if you ask my sister-in-law.
那你清醒多久了？ So how long you been sober?
哦，不，我不清醒。我现在很高兴。 Oh, no, I'm not sober. I'm high right now.
我就在这里给我的朋友贴上标签。 I'm just here to tag my friend.
运气好，男人，祝你好运。太棒了。当然。 Good luck with the sobriety, man. That's cool. Definitely.
那里很安静。 It's awful quiet in there.
你知道他在做什么吗？这是一个经典的诡计。 You know what he's doing? It's a classic ruse.
让他们认为有一个退出，他已经逃脱了。不买它。 Make them think there's an exit and he already escaped. Not buying it.
我买它。我打赌他那里有一扇秘密门。 I buy it. I bet he has a secret door back there.
冰箱变成了电梯。 Refrigerator turns into an elevator.
什么？ What?
乘电梯到地下室。那是他的巢穴。 Takes the elevator down to the basement. That's his lair.
不同的服装，电脑屏幕。 - 你在说什么？ Different outfits, computer screens. - What are you talking about?
相机看着我们。 - 他不是蝙蝠侠。 Cameras watching us. - He's not Batman.
告诉过你了。在那里。 Told you. In there.
这是什么意思？ What's it say?
“吃我的鸡巴。” - “吃我的鸡巴。” “球。” “屁股”？ "Eat my dick." - "Eat my dick." "Balls." "Ass"?
“屁股。” "Butt."
“冰淇淋。” "Ice cream."
什么？ - 什么？ What? - What?
是的，他在嘲弄我。他知道我是乳糖不耐症。 Yeah, he's taunting me. He knows I'm lactose intolerant.
到底是怎么回事？他在哪里？ What is going on? Where is he?
他在哪里？ Where is he?
杰瑞？ Jerry?
我们应该在一小时内完成婚礼照片。 We're supposed to be getting our wedding photos done in an hour.
你在做什么？ What are you doing?
来吧，杰里。 - 杰里，你可以出来。 Come on out, Jerry. - Jerry, you can come out.
杰瑞，我们不会得到你的。 We're not gonna get you, Jerry.
宝贝，看，冷静下来。看，我很抱歉。 Babe, look, calm down. Look, I'm sorry.
闭嘴，杰里。杰里，我不能他妈的。 Shut up, Jerry. I can't fucking take this, Jerry.
她不能接受它。来吧 She can't take it. Come on out.
亲爱的，你为什么现在玩这个游戏？ Honey, why are you playing this game right now?
你为什么现在和你的朋友一起玩这个游戏？ Why are you playing this game with your friends right now?
他为什么现在正在玩这个游戏？ Why is he playing this game right now?
嘿，宝贝，看。你必须冷静下来，好吗？ Hey, babe, look. You gotta calm down, okay?
听我说！这很难 Listen to me! It's very hard
因为你决定毁掉一切。 because you have decided to ruin everything.
你也是。 And so have you.
你的傻脸和愚蠢的胡子， With your stupid face, and your stupid beard,
和你愚蠢的眼镜， and your stupid glasses,
那个愚蠢的连身衣。 and that stupid jumpsuit.
一个女孩只能接受这么多， There's only so much a girl can take,
然后你想要我最重要的，只是为了...... and then you want me on top of that, just to...
哦，我的上帝。你还好吗？ Oh, my God. Are you okay?
贝贝？ SUZ？起诉？ - 杰瑞。哦，我的上帝。 Babe? Suz? Sue? - Jerry. Oh, my God.
嘘？嘘，嘘？ - 苏？ Boo? Boo-boo? - Sue?
嘘，嘘？嘘，嘘？ Boo-boo? Boo-boo?
发生了什么？等等，等等。发生了什么？ What happened? Wait, wait, wait. What happened?
苏珊，你没事吧？ Susan, are you okay?
坐下，坐下，坐下。 - 这是宝贝。这是宝贝。 Sit down, sit down, sit down. - It's the baby. It's the baby.
它终于发生了。他就在这里。是谁呀？鲍勃，给他贴上标签。 It's finally happening. He's right here. Who's it? Bob, tag him.
你在跟我开玩笑吗？ - 什么？ Are you kidding me? - What?
她的宝宝有问题。 There's something wrong with her baby.
那个孩子没什么不对。这是假的。 There's nothing wrong with that baby. It's a fake.
如果你不这样做，那么给我贴上标签。我会这样做的。 If you won't do it, then tag me. I'm gonna do it.
哦耶。精细。那么你要我标记你吗？ Oh, yeah. Fine. You want me to tag you, then?
糟糕，我错过了。 Oops, I missed.
像往常一样，你完全错了。 As usual, you're completely wrong.
这个？你以为我错了？这是超过顶部！ This? You think I'm wrong? This is so over the top!
这很明显。 This is obvious.
给我打上标签，我会给他一个拥抱。 Tag me, and I'll give him a hug.
我会说，“如果她有流产， And I'll say, "if she's having a miscarriage,
“这太糟糕了，你就是它。” "this is awful, and you're it."
你现在在开玩笑吗？ Are you kidding me right now?
你知道吗？这感觉就像是你会做什么的场景？ You know what? This feels like a scene from What Would You Do?
你陷入了危险的境地， You get put in a precarious situation,
你必须做出正确的决定。 and you have to make the right decision.
这是所有演员和相机。 It's all actors and cameras.
这不是伟大的电视，但它吸引我。 It's not great television, but it hooks me in.
什么？ What?
来吧。 Come on.
好的，我们很好。我们要去医院。 All right, we're good. We're gonna get to the hospital.
耶稣。嘿!杰瑞？杰里，如果你需要什么我很容易...... Jesus. Hey! Jerry? Jerry, if you need anything I could easily...
你来到她或我的宝贝附近， You come near her or my baby,
鲍勃，我会粉碎你的气管。 I'll crush your windpipe, Bob.
这不是他妈的游戏。 This ain't no fucking game.
呃... Uh...
伙计们，我很确定这是真的。 I'm pretty sure it's real, guys.
如果她没有流产，我会很生气。 I will be so pissed if she didn't have a miscarriage.
辣椒！ Chilli!
我们都会。 We all would be.
这只是你不喜欢的事情 - 说吧。 It's just a thing you don't... - Say.
这是隐含的。 It's implied.
嘿，琳达。合十礼。 Hey, Linda. Namaste.
难道你们男孩不应该为婚礼清理干净吗？ Shouldn't you boys be getting cleaned up for the wedding?
不是你，辣椒。你很完美。 Not you, Chilli. You're perfect.
谢谢，琳达。 Thanks, Linda.
我认为没有人会变得更加清新。 I don't think anybody's gonna be freshening up.
Hoagie，你看不出那样。 Hoagie, you can't go looking like that.
“对每个人都问，婚礼已被推迟。 "To everyone asking, the wedding has been postponed.
“谢谢你的想法和祈祷。” "Thank you for your thoughts and prayers."
它来自杰瑞的妈妈。 It's from Jerry's mom.
好吧，也许我们是坏人。 - 也许？ Well, maybe we're bad people. - Maybe?
是的，我认为我们肯定是。 Yes, I think we definitely are.
我们可能会。 We might be.
标签曾经是让我非常开心的事情。 Tag used to be a thing that made me really happy.
但现在，它正在摧毁我。我很难过。 But now, it's destroying me. I feel sad.
他妈的把他妈的弄了。 Shut the fuck up, Sable.
谁见过伴娘的Instagram故事？ Has anyone seen the bridesmaids' Instagram stories?
一探究竟。 Check it out.
“婚礼被取消了。”悲伤的脸表情符号。 "Wedding's canceled." Sad face emoji.
“我不能穿这件衣服。这么漂亮的衣服。 "I can't wear the dress. Such a pretty dress.
“好难过。”再见表情符号。 “这是......” "So sad." Goodbye emoji. “Was it a..."
真？是否所有这些女性都有机会发布平庸， Really? ls there any chance that all these women could post banal,
他们那一天的每分钟时刻， minute-by-minute moments from their day,
同时带着令人头脑麻木的字幕？ with mind-numbing captions at the same time?
完全。 - 绝对。这就是Instagram的全部内容。 Totally. - Absolutely. That's all Instagram is.
是啊。 - 我不知道这个，伙计们。 Yeah. - I don't know about this, guys.
感觉不对劲。我闻到一只老鼠。 It doesn't feel right. I smell a rat.
这就是我一直在说的。 That's what I've been saying.
我一直在说这个。 I have been actually saying this the whole time.
嘿，亲爱的，我们可以继续前进吗？结束了。 Hey, sweetheart, can we just move on? It's over.
但事实并非如此。伙计们，来吧。 But it's not. Now, come on, guys.
我要深究这一点。 I'm gonna get to the bottom of this.
鲍勃。 - 我该怎么办？ Bob. - What'd I do?
我可以拍你的照片吗？ Can I take a photograph of you?
不，好的 No. Okay.
可爱。 Cute.
我要为你建立一个Instagram帐号。 I'm gonna set up an Instagram account for you.
请不要。 Please don't.
Rachel Ditmus是唯一拥有私人Instagram帐户的伴娘。 Rachel Ditmus is the only bridesmaid with a private Instagram account.
自六年级以来，她一直想让你指责她。 She's been wanting you to finger bang her since the sixth grade.
如果有人愚蠢到可以满足我们的要求， If anybody's stupid enough to fall for our request,
这将是dum-dum。 it will be that dum-dum.
并发送。我们现在要做的就是等待。 And sent. All we've got to do now is wait.
并接受！ And accepted!
真？ - 那太奇怪了。 Really? - That was weirdly fast.
不要用手指敲打她。 Do not finger bang her.
哦，我的上帝。我是对的。 Oh, my God. I was right.
什么？我们在这看什么？ - 这到底是什么？ What? What are we looking at here? - What the hell is this?
一件婚纱。 A wedding dress.
他妈的是什么？ What the fuck?
他们伪造了他妈的流产！ They faked the fucking miscarriage!
不不不。杰瑞正在走下坡路。我们要破坏那场婚礼。 No, no, no. Jerry's going down. We're gonna destroy that wedding.
我们走吧！ - 这是胡说八道。那太累了。 Let's go! - This is bullshit. That is so fucked up.
绝对。 Absolutely.
潜艇堡？ Hoagie?
Hoagie，你在干嘛？ Hoagie, what are you doing?
该死的！ Damn it!
亲爱的。 - Hoagie？ Sweetie. - Hoagie?
小心。 Be careful.
我们应该阻止他，还是...... Should we stop him, or...
我没有靠近他。他正在摆动蝙蝠。 I'm not getting near him. He's swinging that bat around.
亲爱的，那是你妈妈的。 - 是的，你会伤害自己。 Sweetie, that's your mom's. - Yeah, you're gonna hurt yourself.
我们失去了！他打败了我们！游戏结束了！ We lost! He beat us! The game is over!
我们不能标记杰瑞。 We can't tag Jerry.
现在是我们接受这个问题的时候了。他是不可触碰的。这就对了。 It's just time for us to come to terms with that. He's untouchable. That's it.
你想做什么？你想放弃吗？ What do you wanna do? You wanna just give up?
是的，鲍勃。我想放弃。是时候放弃了。 Yeah, Bob. I wanna give up. It's time to give up.
来吧，霍根。你不是一个放弃者。 Come on, Hogan. You're not a quitter.
有什么选择？ What's the alternative?
我们去参加婚礼。我们试图标记他。我们失败了。 We go to the wedding. We try to tag him. We fail.
我们搞砸了婚礼？ And we fuck up the wedding?
这不是一个很酷的举动。这是一个鸡巴的举动。 That's not a cool move. That's a dick move.
这不是朋友的意思。这就是混蛋的作用。 That's not what friends do. That's what assholes do.
潜艇堡！他假装他妈的流产。 Hoagie! He faked a fucking miscarriage.
这是一种误判。 This is a miscarriage of justice.
这是我们得到他的地方。 This is where we get him.
他应该为此付出代价。 He deserves to pay for that.
即使我们想这样做，我们都签了一份修正案。 Even if we wanted to do that, we all signed an amendment.
如果你假装流产，修正案是无效的。 Amendments are null and void if you fake a miscarriage.
这只是基本的合同法。 That's just basic contract law.
这是法律。基本合同法。 - 法律。 That's law. Basic contract law. - Law.
就像他说的那样。 Like he said.
我确实是这么说的。 - 我知道。我们在一起说。 I literally said exactly that. - I know. We're saying it together.
但我之前也是因为我说流产是假的。 But I was also right earlier because I said the miscarriage was fake.
修正案代表，也许这是一件好事。 The amendment stands, and maybe that's a good thing.
也许是时候成长一点了。 Maybe it's time to grow up a little.
呃...... - 我要参加婚礼了。 Uh... - I'm going to the wedding.
你们可以做你想做的事。我希望你也来。 And you guys can do what you want. I hope you come too.
辣椒，只是戴上领带。 Chilli, just put on a tie.
亲爱的。 Sweetie.
你甚至打领带？ Do you even have a tie?
是的，我有领带。 Yes, I have a tie.
你需要借领带吗？ - 是的，我需要借领带。 Do you need to borrow a tie? - Yes, I need to borrow a tie.
好的。 Okay.
嗨！我很高兴你成功了！ Hi! I'm so glad you made it!
那是香槟吗？ Is that champagne?
我知道。啊。 I know. Ugh.
我是哭泣的女孩。 I'm the girl who cried miscarriage.
但是我不得不让他离开那个房间并让你分心几个小时 But I had to get him out of that room and distract you for a couple of hours
所以修正案可以启动。 so that the amendment could kick in.
等待。你还怀孕吗？ Wait. Are you even pregnant?
不，我从未怀孕过。 No, I was never pregnant.
你从未怀孕过吗？ You were never pregnant?
哇。 Whoa.
听就是了。杰瑞知道 Just listen. Jerry knew
你们可能会贬低他 that you guys might get the drop on him
所以“操作失误”是我们的失败保障。 so "Operation Miscarriage" was our fail-safe.
这是一次手术吗？ - 这实际上是我的想法。 It was an operation? - It was actually my idea.
辉煌。辉煌！ - 啊，谢谢。 Brilliant. Brilliant! - Ah, thanks.
这是恶魔般的。 That's diabolical.
每个人都生气，因为你赢了，他们是男孩。 Everyone's just pissed because you won, and they're boys.
他们不能怀孕，所以他们不能假装流产。 They can't get pregnant, so they can't fake a miscarriage.
这是真的。 It's true.
看，我不是说我要你流产。 Look, I'm not saying I want you to have a miscarriage.
然后不要。 Then don't.
因为那将是可怕的。但如果你有流产， 'Cause that would be terrible. But if you ever do have a miscarriage,
我不想说你应该得到它，因为这太过分了， I don't wanna say that you would deserve it 'cause that's too far,
但我会说什么，我的感受 but what I will say and what I do feel
这就是你得到的。 is that's what you get.
好的。没事。我们都可以有不同的感受。 Okay. It's fine. We can all have different feelings.
但这是我们的结婚日，你们。来吧。 But it's our wedding day, you guys. Come on.
我们提出了这个伟大的修正案 And we came up with this great amendment
这样我们都可以一起享受这一天，享受乐趣和放松。 so that we could all enjoy this day together and have fun and relax.
我们很酷吗？ Are we cool?
我猜就是这样。 - 还没。 Yeah, I guess so. - Not yet.
抱歉。还不酷。只是，你确实谋杀了一个孩子。 Sorry. Not cool yet. It's just, you did murder a child.
没有。 No.
她没有。不，这是假的流产。 She didn't. No, it was a fake miscarriage.
是的，不是你内心想象中的孩子， Yeah, not the imaginary child that was inside of you,
但是住在我体内的实际内心的孩子 but the actual inner child that lives inside of me
被斩首了。 got decapitated.
头向上飞，空中翻转，到处都是鲜血喷射。 Head flew up, did flips in the air, blood spurting everywhere.
Hoagie，Jerry有完美的记录， Hoagie, Jerry has a perfect record,
我们现在是一个团队。 and we're a team now.
获奖团队。 The winning team.
而且我觉得，如果你要去玩的话，Hoagie And I just feel like, Hoagie, if you're gonna play
作为成年男子的儿童游戏， a children's game as a grown man,
也许，下次，不要像小孩一样玩。 maybe, next time, don't play like a child.
无论如何，我很高兴你们在这里。 Anyways, I am really excited you guys are here.
试试原始吧。它已经摆脱困境。 Try the raw bar. It's off the hook.
这是我的婚礼！我要结婚了！ It's my wedding! I'm getting married!
恭喜。 - 来吧！抓住它！ Congratulations. - Come on! Grab it!
我收回了我所说的关于她泡腾的一切。 I take back everything I said about her being effervescent.
我在AA遇到了杰里。 I met Jerry in AA.
你看，人们，我遇到了很多问题。 You see, people, I got a lot of problems.
愤怒问题。我离开了我的妻子。我有很多孩子。 Anger issues. I left my wife. I have many kids.
而这个男人让我转向布。 And this man got me to turn to the cloth.
这是我生命中的一个低谷。 It was a low point in my life.
有监禁时间。 There was jail time involved.
我简短地皈依了伊斯兰教。 I briefly converted to Islam.
我和Jo-Ann Fabrics失去了长期的法律纠纷。 I lost a long legal battle with Jo-Ann Fabrics.
在那段时间里，我结识了杰瑞和苏珊。 During that time, I got to know Jerry and Susan as a couple.
这是一个真正的祝福。 And that is a true blessing.
Episcopalian和Lutheran有什么区别？ What's the difference between Episcopalian and Lutheran?
圣公会不吃鱼。 Episcopalians don't eat fish.
那是pescatarian。那不是宗教。 That's pescatarian. That's not a religion.
他们都是狂热分子。我不知道。 They're all fanatics. I don't know.
再次提醒我，是在亲吻中还是在他们走回过道后？ Remind me again, is it on the kiss or after they walk back down the aisle?
真的吗？你说你之前会参加婚礼。 Seriously? You said you'd worked weddings before.
亲吻，鸽子，仪式结束。新郎对此非常具体。 The kiss, the doves, end of ceremony. The groom was very specific about this.
......并找到表达爱的新方式 ...and finds new ways of expressing love
通过生活的起伏。 through the ups and downs of life.
苏珊，你认为杰瑞是你的丈夫吗？ Susan, do you take Jerry to be your husband?
你是否承诺爱，尊重，珍惜和保护他， Do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect him,
放弃所有其他人，只能永远地拥抱他？ forsaking all others, holding only to him forever more?
我做。 I do.
美丽。 Beautiful.
会有一扇窗户。 There's gonna be a window.
什么，亲爱的？ - 鸽子。 What, sweetie? - The doves.
鸽子怎么样？ What about the doves?
有个开口。 There's an opening.
亲爱的，放松一下吧。 Just relax, honey.
你似乎很紧张。 You seem stressed.
杰里，你带苏珊做你的妻子吗？ Jerry, do you take Susan to be your wife?
你是否承诺爱，尊重，珍惜和保护她 Do you promise to love, honor, cherish, and protect her
抛弃所有其他人，只对她永远持有更多？ forsaking all others, holding only to her forever more?
我做。 I do.
我的意思是，这实际上很美。 I mean, this is actually kind of beautiful.
真的是，男人。 It really is, man.
我现在宣布你的丈夫和妻子。 I now pronounce you husband and wife.
你可以亲吻新娘。 You may kiss the bride.
我爱你。 I love you.
潜艇堡！ - 冲啊！ Hoagie! - Go, go, go!
天啊！伙计们，去吧！ - Hoagie！你还好吗？ Oh, God! Guys, go! - Hoagie! You okay?
耶稣。 Jesus.
嗨，老兄。 Hey, man.
伙伴？ Buddy?
你吓走了天鹅。 - Hoagie？ You scared away the swans. - Hoagie?
霍根？霍根。 - Hoagie！ Hogan? Hogan. - Hoagie!
我不敢相信你们这样做了。马上。 I can't believe that you guys did this. Right now.
嗯，实际上，我不认为你可以为我们提供道德制高点。 Well, I don't think you get to claim the moral high ground over us, actually.
是的，你并不比我们好。 Yeah, you're not better than us.
你和你的妻子假装有一场该死的流产。 You and your wife pretended to have a goddamn miscarriage.
误解！误解。 Misunderstanding! Misunderstanding.
误解。 - 在她的阴道里。 Misunderstanding. - In her vagina.
哇。好家伙。 Wow. Oh, boy.
伙计们，打电话给医生！ Guys, call a doctor!
你能听到我吗？ - 伙伴？ Can you hear me? - Buddy?
嘿! - 有人去看医生！ Hey! - Somebody get a doctor!
芽？ - 他完全丧失了意识。 Bud? - He's gone full loss of consciousness.
这令人印象深刻。 That's impressive.
甚至比你的表现更好。对？ Even better than your performance. Right?
我知道！真是太棒了！ I know! It's so good!
对不起，呃，大家...... Excuse me, uh, everyone...
一切安好。 Everything's fine.
呃，这只是一场比赛。 Uh, this is all just a game.
他仍然昏迷不醒，但他很稳定。 He's still unconscious, but he's stable.
鉴于他的状况，他真的不应该这么活跃。 He really should never have been this active given his condition.
你醒来时可以看到他。 - 谢谢。 You can see him when he wakes up. - Thanks.
我懂了。 I got this.
对不起，医生。嘿，你怎么样？ Excuse me, Doctor. Hey, how are you?
是啊。 - 医生，呃......尹医生，是吗？ Yeah. - Doctor, uh... Doctor Yoon, is it?
是。 - 怎么拼写？ Yes. - How do you spell that?
你正好看它。 - 我知道，但我只是问你。 You're looking right at it. - I know, but I'm just asking you.
你到底在问我什么？ What exactly are you asking me?
我的朋友和我做这件事。这是一个非常奇怪的游戏。 My friends and I do this thing. It's this really weird game.
这有什么可能是假的，你可以告诉我。 Is there any chance this is all fake, that you could just tell me.
我不会告诉其他人。 I won't tell the others.
这是假的吗？ Is this fake?
这家医院？ - 整件事，是的。这是假的吗？ This hospital? - The whole thing, yeah. Is it fake?
这是我听过的最愚蠢的事情。 That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
他告诉过你，对吧？ He told you to say that, right?
看，我要准备手术了。 - 你能快点帮我吗？ Look, I gotta prep a surgery. - Will you just do me one quick favor?
你能为我背诵希波克拉底誓言吗？ Could you recite the Hippocratic Oath for me?
这不是医生记忆的事情。 That's not a thing doctors memorize.
还是不确定。 Still unsure.
一切都会好的。这只是，它是很多。 It's gonna be fine. It's just, it was a lot.
我的意思是，这一切如何在婚礼上发生？ I mean, how does that all happen at a wedding?
嘿，老板。 Hey, boss.
怎么回事？ How did that go?
我全都转过身来。 I'm all turned around.
关于什么？ About what?
如果他是演员，或者如果他不是。 If he's an actor or if he's not.
他不是。他是一个医生。我们在医院。 He's not. He's a doctor. We're in a hospital.
你正在喝Kool-Aid。 You're drinking the Kool-Aid.
好吧。我们做什么？ All right. What do we do?
看，辣椒，你有什么问题？跟女孩说说吧。 Look, Chilli, what's wrong with you? Just go talk to the girl.
可能是一个陷阱。 Could be a trap.
她在这里是为了一个在医院的朋友。好的？ She's here for a friend who is in the hospital. Okay?
你知道我是对的。我永远是对的。 You know I'm right. I'm always right.
好的，你是对的，但你并不总是对的。 Okay, you're right about this, but you are not always right.
伙计，我永远是对的，你知道这是真的。 Buddy, I'm always right, and you know it's true.
鲍勃，你并不总是对的。 Bob, you're not always right.
100％...... - 1989年。 100%... - 1989.
哦，来吧。 Oh, come on.
Ken Griffey Jr.进入联盟，你怎么说？ Ken Griffey Jr. enters the league, and what do you say?
“他永远不会像他父亲那么好。” "He will never be as good as his father."
而且他比他的父亲更好。 And he's better than his father.
戒指在哪里？ - 你错了！ Where are the rings? - You are so wrong!
历史记录证明我是对的。 The historical record has proven that I am right.
你知道吗？时间会证明。 You know what? Time will tell.
你永远不会承认自己错了。 You will never admit that you are wrong about anything.
我没错。 I'm not wrong.
来吧，我们已经做了一段时间了。 Come on, it's been a while since we've done this.
来吧，伙计。 Come here, man.
这是一个有趣的几天，伙计。 This was a fun few days, man.
我真的很想你。 - 我也想你了，伙计。 I really missed you. - I missed you too, man.
你想要一口薄荷吗？ - 不，我不想要一口气薄荷。 You want a breath mint? - No, I don't want a breath mint.
停下来。 - 你想要一口薄荷？ Stop it. - You want a breath mint?
我想要一口气薄荷。我口中有一种味道。 I would love a breath mint. I got a gross taste in my mouth.
嘿，介意我坐？ Hey, mind if I sit?
没有。 No.
感谢你的到来。 Thanks for coming.
我希望他没事。 - 我也是。 I hope he's okay. - Yeah, me too.
嗯... Um...
我不知道是不是......我们在医院里...... I don't know if that... We're in a hospital and...
你懂？ - 是的 You know? - Yes.
我的朋友可能会死。 My friend is possibly dying.
但感觉就像我需要告诉你我对你的感受， But it feels like a time I need to tell you how I feel about you,
我很生气，你的丈夫已经死了。 and I am so pumped that your husband's dead.
不，不。 No. - No.
谢丽尔，我很高兴见到你。 But I'm really happy to see you, Cheryl.
你破产了，离婚了 You are broke and divorced
而且只是一个他妈的混乱，真的。 - 是的 and just a fucking mess, really. - Yeah.
但是看到你也很有趣。 But it's fun to see you, too.
好。好吧。我会接受的。 Good. All right. I'll take that.
我其实认为...... I actually think that...
我不敢相信我这么说，但我会再次见到你。 I can't believe I'm saying this, but I would see you again.
真的？ - 是的 For real? - Yeah.
就像一个小约会。 - 不，绝对没有这么说。 Like a little date. - No, definitely didn't say that.
像晚餐一样。 - 比那个小。 Like a dinner. - Smaller than that.
像午餐一样。 - 小吃怎么样？ Like a lunch. - How about a snack?
我将采取我能得到的东西。 I'll take what I can get.
Hoagie，我知道你他妈的和我在一起。 Hoagie, I know you're fucking with me.
我不是。我的肝脏上有一个肿瘤，大小与我的右侧坚果一样大。 I'm not. I've got a tumor on my liver the size of my right nut.
耶稣。 Jesus.
是啊。 Yeah.
我知道你他妈的和他在一起，但你在做什么？计划是什么？ I know you're fucking with him, but what are you doing? What's the plan?
告诉我们发生了什么。 - 辣椒，没有计划。 Tell us what's going on. - Chilli, there's no plan.
到底是怎么回事？ What's going on?
Chilli没有计划。 There's no plan, Chilli.
别再对我眨眼了。 Stop winking at me.
认为这是真的。这看起来像是在做某事。 Think it's real. This looks like it's doing something.
这件事发生在这里真实的事情。 Something real is happening on this thing right here.
你知道这个多久了？ How long have you known this?
三个星期。 For three weeks.
3周。 Three weeks.
正确的坚果。太具体了，我称之为废话。 Right nut. Too specific, I call bullshit.
那是谎言。对？这是谎言。 That's a lie. Right? It's a lie.
我不是在说谎。 I'm not lying.
虽然我确实撒了一件事。 Although I did lie about one thing.
杰瑞并没有在赛季末退出。 Jerry's not quitting at the end of the season.
什么？为什么他妈的我会退出？ What? Why the fuck would I quit?
是的，我只是......我这么说 Yeah, I just... I said that
最后一轮，让大家聚在一起。 to get everyone together, you know, for one last round.
Hoagie，告诉我你他妈的在开玩笑。 Hoagie, tell me you are fucking joking about this.
呃，不。 Uh, no.
下个赛季我不会有这样的机会。 There is a decent chance I will not be around for next season.
该死的。 Damn.
而且，我的意思是，即使你是，你也会， And, I mean, plus, even if you were, you'd be,
你懂。真的很慢。 you know. Really slow.
一只总坐鸭。 A total sitting duck.
像一个静脉注射袋一样携带，很容易。 Carrying like an IV bag around, that's easy.
我有一个叔叔经历了化疗， I had an uncle that went through chemo,
之后，他在比赛中表现糟糕。 and afterwards, he was terrible at games.
但我想这是有道理的。如果他变得更好会很奇怪。 But I guess that makes sense. It would be weird if he got better.
然后每个人都会得到化疗。 Then everybody would be getting chemo.
我爱你们。 I love you guys.
我爱...我喜欢这个游戏。你懂？ I love... I love this game. You know?
我不知道它是什么。它只是带给我们最好的。 I don't know what it is. It just brings out the best in us.
除了今天。 Except today.
今天，我不知道。 Today, I don't know.
我真的搞砸了你的婚礼，杰里，我非常抱歉。 I really fucked up your wedding, Jerry, and I am super sorry.
杰瑞？ Jerry?
他挂了吗？ - 杰瑞？ Has he hung up? - Jerry?
你没有搞砸我的婚礼，Hoagie。来吧。 You didn't fuck up my wedding, Hoagie. Come on.
对？ - 没有。 Right? - No.
你可能已经毁了一会儿。 You might have ruined a moment.
我搞砸了。你应该和我在一起。 I screwed it up. You should've been up there with me.
所有男孩都应该。 All you boys should've.
那是我的错。 That's my fault.
我一直认为你们彼此之间的距离比对我更近...... I always thought that you guys were just much closer to each other than to me...
什么？ What?
我的意思是，如果我们似乎离我更近了， I mean, if it seems like we were closer,
只是因为我们身体更接近 it's only because we're physically closer
因为你总是逃跑 because you always ran away.
成功。你知道，我的意思是， Successfully. You know, I mean,
不是没有，你可能真的 not for nothing, you might actually be
这个星球上最好的人。 the very best person at this game on the planet.
他可能是，对吧？ He might be, right?
是的，你真的很擅长标签。 Yeah, you're really good at tag.
是的，但你有点错过了这一点。 Yes, but you've kind of missed the point.
我的意思是，这不是试图逃避彼此。 I mean, it's not about trying to get away from each other.
它实际上是有理由相互围绕。你懂？ It's actually about having a reason to be around each other. You know?
是啊。 Yeah.
我的意思是，本富兰克林说得最好。我对吗？ I mean, Ben Franklin said it best. Am I right?
“我们不会停止玩，因为我们变老......” "We don't stop playing 'cause we grow old..."
“我们变老，因为我们停止了比赛。” "We grow old because we stop playing."
几年来我一直想说这句话不是本杰明富兰克林。 I've been wanting to say for a few years that quote is not Benjamin Franklin.
那是德国人类学家Karl Groos。 That is German anthropologist, Karl Groos.
La，la，la，la，la...... - 你为什么毁了这一刻？ La, la, la, la, la... - Why are you ruining the moment?
我甚至都不想知道。 - 他在医院。 I just don't even want to know. - He's in the hospital.
感觉就像是正确的时刻。 - 这不是正确的时刻，所以...... It felt like the right moment. - It's not the right moment, so...
这是正确的时刻。 - 事实并非如此。 It is the right moment. - It isn't.
所以，杰里，呃...... So, Jerry, uh...
现在是11:55。 It's 11:55.
进入这里，让我标记你。 Get in here, and let me tag you.
你知道，我想，我一直如此依恋， You know, I've been so attached, I suppose,
这些年来我的完美记录， to my perfect record all these years,
主宰你的傻瓜。 dominating you fools.
也许我应该。也许我不应该。 Maybe I should. Maybe I shouldn't.
如果你考虑一下，杰瑞是一个标记处女。 If you think about it, Jerry is a tag virgin.
或冠军。 Or champion.
让我们为你贬低你。 Just let us deflower you.
我们会温柔的。 We'll be gentle.
我不能。 I can't.
来吧。 Come on.
我不能这样做。 I can't do it.
然后我不会标记任何人，游戏结束于我。 Then I'm not gonna tag anybody, and the game ends with me.
那是黑暗的。 That's dark.
或者你只是让我标记你。 Or you just let me tag you.
好吧，他妈的。 All right, fuck it.
它！ - 哦，我的上帝！ It! - Oh, my God!
失败者！失败者！ Loser! Loser!
你好烂！ You suck!
真棒。 Awesome.
是! - 你正式吮吸。 Yes! - You officially suck.
哦，你是这样的！ Oh, you're so it!
该死的！好吧！ Goddamn! All right!
我爱你们。 I love you guys.
爱你，伙计。 Love you too, man.
你知道我们五月还有五分钟。 You know we got five minutes left of May.
我不会是最后一次。母狗！ I ain't gonna be last it. Bitches!
看，鲍勃！鲍勃，你要去哪儿？ Look, Bob! Where are you gonna go, Bob?
没有！ No!
口头修正？女人应该玩。 Verbal amendment? That women should be playing.
修订。 - 是的，修正案。 Amendment. - Yeah, amendment.
哦。 Oh.
哦，你犯了一个大错。 Oh, you just made a big mistake.
你是它，婊子！ - 你现在就是这样！ You're it, bitch! - You're it now!
你要走了！ - 你太激烈了！ You're going down! - You're too intense!
你要吮吸我的小姜球。 You're gonna suck my tiny ginger balls.
哦!毛！ Oh! Gross!
你太粗暴了！ You're gross!
来吧！拉屎！没有。 Come on! Shit! No.
你是它。 - 不，我不能介入这个故事。 You're it. - No, I can't get involved in the story.
我们做了修改！ We made an amendment!
来吧，这有点好玩，对吧？你有大约三分钟。 Come on, it's a little bit fun, right? You have about three minutes.
黑貂！来吧。伙计，你的道德在哪里？ Sable! Come on. Where are your ethics, buddy?
来吧。伸手去拿 Come on. Just reach out.
SUSAN;没有！ - 你说对了。 SUSAN; No! - You got it.
哦，狗屎，挂在一秒钟。 Oh, shit, hang on a second.
你还好吗？ You Okay?
你没事吧？ - 是的 You all right? - Yeah.
你是它！ You're it!
标签，兄弟！ Tag, brother!
你是它！ You're it!
我是吗？ - 你呢？ I'm it? - You're it?
现在你就是它。 Now you're it.
你有我没门！ You got me. No way!
不错，呵呵？好热吗？ - 哇。 Not bad, huh'? Pretty hot? - Wow.
你是它！ You're it!
是的，宝贝。 Yeah, baby.
嘿，笨蛋。你是它！ Hey, fucker. You're it!
你是它！是啊！ You're it! Yeah!
你是它，宝贝！ You're it, baby!
有一次，有一个孩子 Once, there was a kid who
发生意外，无法上学 Got into an accident and couldn't come to school
但是当他终于回来了 But when he finally came back
他的头发从黑色变成了亮白色 His hair turned from black into bright white
他说那是从汽车开始的 He said that it was from when the cars
曾经如此努力地打败了他 Had smashed him so hard
Mmm，mmm，mmm，mmm Mmm，mmm，mmm，mmm Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm
嗯，mmm，mmm，mmm Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm
有一次，有这个女孩 Once, there was this girl who
不会和更衣室里的女孩一起改变 Wouldn't go and change with the girls in the change room
但是当他们终于成功了 But when they finally made her
他们身上都看到了红色的痕迹 They saw red marks all over her body
她无法解释清楚 She couldn't quite explain it
他们总是在那里 They'd always just been there
嗯，mmm，mmm，mmm - Baa，baa，baa，baa Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm - Baa, baa, baa, baa
哦 Ooh
是啊 Yeah
嘿，嘿，嘿，嘿嘿，嘿，嘿，嘿 Hey, hey, hey, hey Hey, hey, hey, hey
嗯，嗯 Mmm, mmm
女孩和男孩都很高兴 Both the girl and the boy were glad
因为一个孩子比这更糟糕 'Cause one kid had it worse than that
Mmm，mmm，mmm，mmm Mmm，mmm，mmm，mmm Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm
嗯，mmm，mmm，mmm Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm
Mmm，mmm，mmm，mmm Mmm，mmm，mmm，mmm Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm
嘿，嘿，嘿，嘿，嘿，嘿 Hey, hey, hey, hey Hey, hey
是的，是的，是的，是的，是的，是的，是的，是的 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
是的，是的，是的，是的 Yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah
你是它。 - 性交 You're it. - Fucked